


Greet Me With Goodbye

by Prumery



Category: Hetalia - Fandom, axis powers - Fandom
Genre: Eventual Sex, M/M, NSFW, Relationship Development, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-02-06 19:09:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1869114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prumery/pseuds/Prumery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>America, being tired of England trying to make him do work, accidentally pushes an awesome nation into a closet. A little talking, a little fighting, and a little curses from Prussia and the relationship that had fizzled years ago starts into a flame all over again.<br/>But as it does, America learns things about Prussia that he didn't expect. And then things start to spiral into something that he didn't exactly plan, and didn't want...<br/>There is no way that he regrets this. No way at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who said Alfred ever got out of the closet

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, gosh first story on here ahhhh  
> Anyway, this is something that i've been wanting to work on for a little bit and i don't have a beta so i'm sorry if my grammer is incorrect or if i suck at this, but i'm not a writer.  
> Thank you for reading ;u;;

As soon as Alfred heard his voice, he began to walk as fast as he could away from him.  
"Alfred? Alfred?!"  
The blonde covered his face and began to jog. He knew that the British man would want to talk to him, and more certain than not, make him do work. Alfred was a very lazy young nation and did not want to do work. He had been stuck with piles and piles of fucking paperwork and he just wanted to go home and rest.  
And if that man even fucking talked to him, he wasn't going to play video games or get himself a burger at Arby's and relax.  
So, he began to jog.  
The halls were long and he heard Arthur's voice somewhere. He doesn't know exactly where, but he knew it was around him. His heart beat in his chest and he felt some papers fly out of his grasp, but at the moment he did not care at all.  
And then he smacked against a really (hard) surface.  
"What the hell-?"  
The accent was thick and the voice was deep, and before Alfred could put a face to the baritone, he heard Arthur's heels click around the corner.  
So he grabbed whoever was in front of him and shoved him in the nearest closet, somewhat ignoring the fact that he didn't remember who it was, and it could be France and he might end up limping the next day.  
"WHAT THE HELL?"  
The same three words were said, but this time in his ear as he pushed himself into the small closet and immediately he covered the person's mouth. Alfred finally had a chance to see the person, and he was surprised to see...  
Red eyes. Bright red eyes that were flames behind long snow lashes covered in a thick layer of mascara. Thin, but albeit a little thick at the meeting in the middle, eyebrows were knitted in anger and America felt the glowing aura of the man.  
America blushed.  
"Sh. I don't want to do work." He whispered and the man began to struggle, but America was at least a hundred times stronger than him. Prussia fought more and more, and there was shuffling of things. He began to knock stuff over, and his long, slim legs made some future bruises on America's shins and knees when America heard footsteps.  
He needed him to stop fighting.  
So he pulled his hand back, and punched the albino in the gut. As soon as his hand hit his hard stomach (he could feel the muscles through the shirt he wore) Prussia froze.  
His pretty eyes widened so much, America swore they'd fall out of his eye sockets. There were tears in his eyes and he shuddered, his body going slightly limp and his face falling slightly.  
"I'm sorry, i'm sorry i'm sorry, but Arthur wants me to do work and..."  
There was more footsteps.  
America froze and held Prussia's face to his chest. His heart was beating faster and faster and he began to pray that he didn't hear Prussia's ragged breathing and gentle moans as he held his stomach.  
He probably had a ruptured spleen.  
Poor thing.  
But America did have it out for him, since he was so rough on him when he taught him during the revolution. The big battle was all Prussia could think about in that time, and he had pushed America so hard.  
America had respected him, but still. A little slack couldn't have hurt the, back then new, nation.  
But at the moment, he didn't care. He cared about the fact that Arthur passed the door and Alfred purred in happiness.  
"Oh thank god."  
And then he felt something bit his hand.  
He was about to yelp when his mouth was covered and flames looked into his cool blue eyes.  
"Look, you little shit. I was just going to ask you the time of day, and now i may have ruptured an intestine-"  
America was about to point out that in that area would be the spleen but Prussia's fingers dug into his face and his voice hissed at him  
"-so now you ow me, you little shit. You understand?"  
America shook his head. He was a hero, and he knew that if Prussia had given into him being pushed into a closet, he deserved a good burger or two.  
"Of course. I am the hero, i know this. What would you like?"  
Prussia paused.  
"Seriously? You're giving into the awesome me's requests so easily?"  
America was astounded by Prussia's inability to believe that he would do whatever he'd ask him to. Mostly because America always did what people asked him because he was the hero and that's what hero's do.  
"Yeah, of course man! Why don't you think i'd do that."  
"No reason."  
Prussia rubbed his neck and then his stomach.  
"You can throw a punch."  
"You're the one who taught me, remember!" America smiled at him and put his hands on his hips. Then he remembered they were in a small closet and there was barely enough space for only one of them, two large men was pushing it. The room was suddenly growing crowded and awkward.  
"Okay... where do you want me to take you for being so cool?" America smiled at Prussia who rubbed his neck.  
"I guess to get a burger? It's not that much, but I haven't eaten anything." Prussia's face turned a slight shade of pink and America was about to ask about that, when Prussia laughed.  
"Come on, let's hurry up, you dolt. I don't want England to come and ruin our fun." He said and pulled America out of the small place, taking him down the hall.  
"Okay, so anything else? A slushie? Smoothie? Ice cream? I can do anything, bro." America listed, counting on his slim fingers and then turning to the albino who shook his head.  
"Just a burger. Just company."  
America was surprised at the plain instructions by the man, since he was usually so outgoing and jumpy and narcissistic. The weird request of a small food break and some company was something slightly awkward on the albino.  
But he said nothing about it, since he was the hero and he knew that he had to take care of people when they needed help, or when they helped him. So he walked in front of Prussia, slightly skipping and humming an old Beatles song that he knew.  
What he didn't notice was the look that Prussia had on his face. The look of sudden sadness that passed as soon as he felt someone not looking. He didn't know about it because Prussia never had told anyone about it.  
And he wasn't planning on doing it.  
-


	2. Are you serious about the fucking bird?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prussia starts to decide that he wants his and America's relationship to become that old friendship that they had.  
> Though, he's not so sure Gilbird might like that idea.  
> Maybe he should ask France as well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, wow i'm actually updating this ahahaah ;u;  
> I'm really happy about what i'm doing with this story, mostly because it's different from the other ones. You know, stretching the relationship into it building back.   
> Usually my other ones are established relationships and sex but this one is so tedious.  
> I like pushing myself uwu  
> (and btw i don't have a beta so sorry for all the misspellings and bad grammer ;n;)

Both of them were sitting in front of each other, as Alfred had bought both of them a good portioned meal. The burgers were perfectly made because America had bitched to the cook that his burger was too cold and Prussia had rolled his eyes and pulled at his ear and told him to respect the workers, but America just wanted a good fucking hamburger.  
And now they had good hamburgers.  
Prussia would say he was proud, but he wasn't.  
Maybe.  
A little.  
"So..."  
Prussia said gently as he dunked a fry into the ketchup, scooping up a good amount and popping it into his soft lips. He chewed it in thought, thinking of something to help them keep the conversation going. Neither of the male's had talked to each other since a certain war that made America punch Prussia in the face and make him bleed.  
He didn't know what to say.  
"How have you been doing lately?" America stared at Prussia, seeing the awkward aura surrounding him, but also seeing that Prussia was just too narcissistic to let this conversation be anything but awkward.  
"I'm good. The black guy i got is pretty cool."  
Prussia swallowed the fry with and shook his head.  
There was a silence.  
Somewhere a gay baby was born.  
And Prussia spoke again.  
"This is really awkward and i don't know why."  
Prussia had been always known for being too blunt. America remembered this when he was training and bluntly told him that he sucked ass and needed a good beating.  
America had been so confused and hurt.  
But he learned this about the albino and grew to accept it as part of his person.  
"I'm sorry. I guess we just haven't really spoken since... You know..."  
America avoided the subject about Prussia's ceasing of existence, but Prussia waved his hand over the subject.  
"I know, but it's never this awkward."  
America bit his lip.  
"Let's try again. Talk about something else."  
"Okay."  
Prussia bit his lip.  
"Oh. Why have you been avoiding Arthur? He's not that bad you know."  
America let out a loud groan that made almost all of the customers look at him in confusion.  
"NOOOOOO I HATE HIM RIGHT NOW NOOOOOO!"  
Prussia burst into laughter at the man's reaction, seeing as to the fact that he really didn't like the other man either. He was very stiff and rough around the edges, but he had an aura of respect that both Alfred and Gilbert had to bend to.  
That didn't mean that he wasn't a dick.  
"Oh come one he can't be that bad."  
"HE MADE ME WAKE UP AT 2 AM TO FINISH A REPORT THAT I MISSPELLED "YOU'RE" TWICE. TWICE! HE COULDN'T JUST IGNORE IT. I HAD BEEN WRITING FOR DAYS AND THE ONLY TIME I GET TO SLEEP AND "YOU'RE" FUCKS ME Over man i just really don't want to talk to him at the moment."  
America groaned and fell dramatically onto the table, his face sad and his body limp. Prussia pet his head.  
"It's fine."  
"Okay."  
And that's when the conversations started.  
They spoke and spoke, Prussia's hands moving as he told stories of him jumping the Berlin wall to visit Germany and America talking about the fact that the 50's were insane for him.  
And two hours passed and both of them walked side by side to the hotel rooms that they were suppose to be staying at. It was growing cold, and they were eating ice cream, but that didn't matter.  
"And so, then Germany decided to roundhouse kick this guy in the face..."  
America stared at Prussia with wide eyes, taking in every detail and thought and word and smiling.  
"And crash, boom, bang, he's down. And that's how i got this." He pointed to the scar running on his cheek and America hollered.  
"You are fucking great man."  
"I know."  
Prussia shook his head and crossed his arms as he finished his ice cream. He looked at his hotel room and then back to America and smiled.  
They stared awkwardly at each other, since they had not spoken to each other in years besides WWII and that time they did not leave on good terms. America knew it was awkward.  
So he pulled out a pen and grabbed Prussia's arm.  
"Text me. Let's start hanging out again, okay?"  
Prussia stared at the blonde as his fingers chicken scratched numbers onto his pale arm. He grinned as America paused at his inner elbow and stared at the blue veins underneath porcelain skin and etched muscles.  
"See something you like?"  
America's cheeks were suddenly bright and Prussia felt his smirk turn down a little as to see the dusting of freckles everywhere underneath the blush. They peppered his cheeks and nose and as he noticed, they spread all the way down to his chest.  
Oh my god, was he covered in those?  
America pulled away from the soft skin of the other man and smiled.  
"Talk to me anytime you want."  
Prussia swallowed a joke that bubbled in his throat and he smiled at him instead. As America left, Prussia stared down at his arm and noticed that it was a number, a skype, a kik and an email address.  
They were so alike sometimes.  
-  
A week and two passed and Prussia and America were talking everyday. Every day they'd send each other messages talking about random things, catching up and keeping themselves distracted with cute gifs and movies and shows they recommended to each other.  
Prussia loved it.  
"Hey want to come over this week? I'm bored and Germany is gone for a while."  
Prussia sent the skype message and ate a burger that he had bought. He'd been buying a lot of junk food lately, mostly because he felt slightly closer to the american when doing so.  
"Yeah sure bro. Let me get some shit together and i'll be there tomorrow."  
Prussia grinned as he swallowed a thick mouthful of burger and twirled in his chair. He stared at the moving ceiling when a small peep sounded and a bird landed on his face.  
"Hey Gilbird."  
The yellow bird tweeted on his face and spread it's small wings, fluttering and peeping in happiness. As he did so, Prussia growled and rubbed his cheek.   
The little bird was very protective of Prussia and never liked anyone touching him or even speaking to him. He had taken such a long time to get used to Germany, the fact that America was coming over for the first time was probably going to end up in a pecking fest on America's part.  
Prussia swallowed and was about to send America a skype message when he saw that he was offline.  
Shit.  
He ran his finger through his hair and felt Gilbird peck and jump over his hand. Of course, the little bird would warm up to the blonde eventually, but it took such a damn long time and he didn't want that to happen with America. Mostly cause he was cool and he wouldn't mind if Alfred hung out with him more than a week a month.  
Even though the starlight blonde was talking more to America and loosing the depressing rut he had been in since the second war, he still felt a little rejected, since America only hung out with him because England had been chasing him.   
Okay, Prussia was happy that happened.  
But Prussia had been really... well sad lately. He hadn't told his brother (because, dude it was his brother, he's not doing that) or anyone. He'd been hiding all of this for years.  
And maybe America could at least distract him from the fact that the last couple of years, on weekends, Prussia would start crying in the middle of the night until sunup.  
Even if it was only that, it would be nice.  
If only Gilbird liked him.   
-  
There was a knock at the door at 8 am. Prussia didn't fucking think it would be so early when the other man came.   
He groaned angrily, and slid out of his warm and fluffy blankets and dragged his body out of bed. His heavy steps pounded on the stairs as he quickly walked to the door and swung it open.  
"What."  
He swung open the door and glared at the person that had woken him up. Of course, he didn't know that he had told America to come as early as he could.  
He didn't remember that early, for Prussia, was at least 5 a.m.  
America had apparently taken a lot of his training exscersises seriously.  
Prussia had been slacking off lately because of his depression, so he'd end up sleeping until 8 a.m. (which was still pretty early, but late in his book) and taking long showers and eventually he'd be up and about by 10. Which he would get scolded for by Germany, who'd been ready for two hours.  
Prussia sometimes wonders if he should have left those wolves raise the dick instead of himself.  
He groaned and opened the door, popping his hip and running his fingers through his hair. He opened his red eyes and stared at the man in front of him.  
America was staring at him with a bright red face and his cerulean eyes wide. He saw his adam's apple bob slightly as he swallowed and he heard a loud gulp and a stutter.  
"H...hey..."  
Gilbert blushed red and suddenly felt really open. Usually, he never feels this way. The only people who visit him now are France and barely Spain who is too busy fucking Austria to care about him half of the time.  
Come to think of it, didn't hey invite him to a party?  
As his thoughts wandered, America got inside and made himself at home. He set down a suitcase and Prussia came back into the conversation.  
He did that a lot; zoning out. It pissed everyone off and made them go away.  
Prussia needed to come back.  
"-and i was thinking we could go out swimming."  
"In this fucking weather, are you insane."  
Prussia rolled his eyes, shuffling quietly away to his room and popping in old bones that wore themselves tired. His body ached and his mind hurt and all he wanted to do was sleep some more.  
"No, i'm talking about some hot springs. I think there's one here?"  
"Yeah i guess. Sounds fun."  
But America was already here so he went to his drawers and pulled out a fresh pair of clothes and shed his sleeping shirt and boxers.  
What he didn't know was that America had followed and he was now naked in front of him.  
America jumped as he saw the man undress and show off his perfectly etched body. Years of training under harsh conditions and regular diets of meat and vegetables made his body lean and hard and...  
America felt his face turn the darkest shade of red he'd ever felt.  
He had a tattoo of an eagle spread across his back, shaded with what he guess was midnight blue. And iron cross placed on a cornflower was on his left shoulder and scars littered almost every inch around the ink.  
He swore he felt his stomach flip as he noticed the man's curved butt move as he slipped on a shirt and stepped into some pants.  
He then noticed America was staring.  
"What?"  
He pulled up his skinny jeans and America's eyes flashed to the silvery happy trail and he swore he saw a piercing on the line of his...  
Oh...  
America blushed as the man buttoned his jeans and the shirt kept falling of his shoulder. It was at least a size too big and it showed him a long scar on his neck and A(oh my god another) tattoo of a small crown.  
"Nothing... Just... you go commando?"  
Prussia knitted his brows for a minute and then shook his head. He was still kind of asleep.   
"All the time, why?"  
"Didn't see you as a boxer person either."  
Prussia threw his dirty laundry into the waste basket and went to the bathroom, turning on the lights and grabbing a toothbrush. He pressed some green substance on it from a tube and began to wash his teeth.  
America was quiet as he spit out the foam and finished washing his teeth and slicking his hair back, only to have it come back into place.  
"Sorry you had to see me unawesome like that. Awesome people like me still need to sleep."  
America rolled his eyes and leaned onto the wall as Prussia slipped on some shoes and crossed his arms. He stared at him with an unwavering gaze.  
"So aren't we going to go somewhere? It's not that we're just going to stay here like some boring old couple."  
Prussia laughed, but didn't see America's face as he blushed at the comment. Suddenly America felt like he was blushing a lot in the man's presence.  
That was something that he needed to change, if not right now then later.   
-  
They were walking around the mall, making bad jokes about the really straight females and really badly dressed boyfriends they dragged to places that no man would go at.  
Hours had already passed between them, and Prussia didn't even see them fly. They had eaten pancakes and had thrown food at each other and ending up being asked to leave.  
Everything was going pretty well.  
Prussia loved everything at the moment.  
"Okay hold on look at this guy."  
Alfred pointed at a man with a beanie and his pants all the way down to his knees. He walked like he shit his pants and his face red like he had ran a mile.  
"I'm gonna get some mad pussy tonight!" Alfred whispered with a fake accent and a deepened voice.  
Prussia had soda going up his nose and he beat his chest as he choked and America laughed as he was dying from his lack of air.  
Prussia covered his nose as brown stuff dripped down his nose and he breathed and tried to relax himself.  
America slid on the ground, holding his sides as he stared at his friend laugh.  
And then there was an ugly snort and America froze and Prussia stared.   
People stared at Alfred as he stood up and Prussia then burst out laughing harder and he pointed at him and shouted.  
"YOU SNORTED!"  
"SHUT UP!"  
Prussia laughed, his body curling into himself and his face stuffed into his jacket as America smacked his arms and shouted back.  
"IT'S NOT FUNNY! I SOUND STUPID!"  
Prussia laughed harder and pushed him away so Alfred landed on his ass.  
"IT IS! IT'S HILARIOUS, YOU'RE CUTE!"  
Prussia snickered and then wiped a small tear from his cheek. He sighed heavily and held his stomach. He took a deep breathe and sighed.  
"You're funny, okay. Just accept it."  
America was staring at the floor with wide eyes and trying not to think about Prussia calling him cute. It was just probably a slip up and something platonic. It couldn't be something with meaning.   
Everything that America had thought as a meaning always ended up making him ache in the end.  
Prussia finished snickering and America smiled.  
"Okay fine. Whatever."  
Prussia stood up and pulled the american up, pulling him.  
"Come on let's go home. I'm tired already and we can watch some movies."  
Prussia smiled gently at America, who grinned wide at him.  
They walked through the mall, Alfred with his small bag of candies and sandwiches and extra food while Prussia had earrings and other things that he had bought at Hot Topic. Alfred had hidden behind him the entire time, his eyes wide and avoiding things that were too dark.  
And he had cried cause he found a good Captain America pair of underwear and almost cried harder when Prussia bought it for him.  
America got an allowance, and worked sometimes so he sometimes had money.  
Sometimes...  
Prussia smiled as America ate the ice cream in his hand slowly and tried to make it last as long as he could. As if he knew that that sweet was the last he was going to eat in a while.  
Prussia knew about the american's economy, but didn't think it would be that bad.  
America made a noise as Prussia hand him another cone.  
"Have mine."  
America smiled wide as he took the sweet and was about to start eating it when he paused. He stomach growled and he felt his face blush.  
"I already ate too much..."  
He said gently and gave him back the cone. He gently ate his own and wiped away some of the sticky stuff on his mouth.  
"Just eat it, birdy."  
The young man sighed and took it, eating his own and the albino's. He was happy and slurping up the food with a gusto.  
Prussia said nothing,   
They walked quietly, America finishing his the cone and licking the sticky things all over his fingers. He smiled at Prussia who grabbed a handkerchief and licked it, wiping some sticky liquids from Alfred's face.  
The blonde struggled but Prussia smacked his cheek gently to tell him to stop, and America let him.  
"I'm not a child."  
America whispered as he stared at Prussia who stuck his tongue out and gently wiped away the sugar.  
"Well you act like one when you eat." Prussia hissed, rubbing a certain little spot at his cheek. America squinted and squeaked angrily.  
Then he felt people staring.  
There was a woman fanning her face and a man giggling at him.  
Prussia kept rubbing his face and America began to fight.  
"Stop, please."  
Prussia laughed and finished wiping his face. He smiled wide at him and suddenly America didn't care about other people staring.  
"Can we go to your house now?"  
America whispered gently, blushing a little. He turned and Prussia jogged to him.  
"What do you want to watch?"  
America smiled as he asked for movies that he'd seen on multiple occasions, but never grew tired of.  
Both of them agreed on certain movies and casually spoke about upcoming meetings and other things that would keep the air filled with Gilbert's nice voice and Alfred's high pitched laughs.  
It was nice, and friendly again.  
-  
America waited as Prussia opened the door to the room. He stared at the back of his head, yawning a little as he felt like he needed to sleep.  
They had walked everywhere, and sure, Prussia drove them in his really cool car back home, but America was passing out in the backseat.  
He hadn't moved to the front because he might get the dashboard dirty. Prussia had scoffed, but let him do what he wanted.  
Alfred trudged into the house, shaking off his jacket and throwin it on one of the recliners. He took off his shoes and stared at Prussia walked into the last room.  
"Hey, i'm going to change. Make some popcorn and get whatever you want i'll find some movies."  
America shook his head and left to the kitchen. Prussia sighed, taking off his shirt and pants, walking around the room naked and slipping into a tank top and sweatpants. He then turned around and stiffened as the cage was open.  
"Fuck."  
Prusssia spun on his heel and started to freak out. Gilbird wasn't good with people. He was terrible at liking anyone, since he was so overprotective of the albino.  
He didn't expect-  
Alfred giggled as a small ball of feathers snuggled into his shoulder and tweeted loudly and happily as he rubbed his head.  
"Ah, how adorable! You're such a cute little thing, aren't you?" America purred and pet the small ball. Gilbird was cooing loudly and flapping it's tiny wings.  
Prussia felt a relief at his stomach as the bird tweeted and then flew over to him.  
"Gilbird grew a lot. He's still adorable."  
The bird tweeted, as he remembered the young man from the war years and years back. Even then, Gilbird was in love with America.  
Prussia rubbed Gilbird's neck and let him peck happily.  
"You missed Alfred, huh?"  
The bird tweeted loudly and bounced on his finger, as if agreeing.  
Alfred snickered behind his hand and held a large bowl with ice cream and he was down to his wife beater.  
Both of them laughed as Gilbird bounced onto Alfred's hair and snuggled there.  
They put on the movie and began to watch it on the small couch, Alfred trying not to touch Gilbert and the albino trying to pay attention to the movie.  
Failing, but trying.  
America had Gilbird nestled in his hair and he would throw a popcorn in the air every fifteen minutes and the little bird would chirp and grab it, chewing it quietly.  
After the thirteenth time, and halfway through a terrible movie, Gilbert turned to tell him off.  
But America had slid onto his shoulder, his eyes closed and his body was limp. Gilbird was tweeting, and staring at Gilbert with his beady little black eyes with interest.  
Prussia sighed and smiled gently.  
"Fuck, Birdy..." He whispered and ran his fingers through Alfred's hair, making a soft purr come from his chest. It made the prussian smile and sigh gently.  
Alfred snuggled up to him, making Gilbert stiffen. His arm was locked in Alfred's arm and his face was pined to his shoulder.  
Alfred was murmuring something in his sleep and Gilbert moved a little, making him slide into his lap and curl there. He literally was a sleepy puppy in his lap.  
Gilbert sighed in content, as the man was warm and he was sleepy as well.  
Slowly he drifted off.  
-  
Gilbird pecked his cheek to wake up and Prussia gently opened his eyes. He was staring into baby blue eyes that he'd grown to care about.  
"What the fuck do you want, Germany."  
Well he never really showed it.  
The german made a loud "hn" and Gilbert tried to stretch. But then there was a heavy object in his lap.  
He looked down to see a fluffy of blonde and Gilbird nestled in locks.  
Alfred was stretche on Gilbert, hugging him tight and smiling in his sleep.  
Gilbert blinked and then rubbed the blond's shoulder, making a soft purr come out of his mouth.  
"Gilbert..." Alfred whispered and Germany let out a rough chuckle.  
"The little amerikan has grown to like you more over the course of the months, hm?"   
Prussia glared at the wall, since he was behind him.  
"You're a douche."  
"Says the dick."  
Germany's soft steps quickly took him into the kitchen. He hummed a song and Prussia rolled a little so Alfred landed on the sofa and spread eagle.  
He had a soft smile on his face and his eyes fluttered behind his eyelids. He pawed at Gilbert, but then gave up.  
Gilbird floated above him and then landed on Alfred's face, nestling himself there.  
He peeped at Gilbert, as if telling him that he wanted to keep the american as a pet.  
Gilbert swore that's what his face said; maybe he shoulder get a new pet it was sort of creepy that he knew what the bird wanted.  
He stood up and walked to Germany.  
"How was that date with that Mexican?'  
Germany turned red, as he chopped up carrots and other things for some beef stew. He sighed and rubbed his neck. Something that he had gotten from his brother.  
"It's... well..."  
"She dumped ya."  
Germany glared, and then rolled his eyes. He rubbed his shoulder and then sighed.  
"I don't think she likes the idea of me being asexual."  
Prussia hissed under his breathe.  
"You know that he country is very bigoted and stuck in their old ways. Hell, the fact that she's pan is still an uncomfortable thing to her. Just give her some time, she'll warm up to you."  
Germany made a face and rubbed his neck.  
"Yeah, okay."  
The prussian pulled out some eggs and mixed them with butter and milk and some pepper. Quickly he and his brother began to move with a certain rythm, speaking in german and finishing some nice food.  
They placed plates on the table and Gilbird tweeted loudly.  
"Oh, hey little guy..."  
There was a soft voice from Alfred and he walked into the kitchen. His shirt was off his shoulder and he rubbed his eyes gently, yawning.  
"Mmm, that smells really good."  
Germany looked away from America, feeling his face turn red. Prussia glared from the side and coughed a little as he felt a little pang of jealousy.  
For some odd reason, he felt like that when his brother looked at the older male.  
Prussia shrugged it off.  
"Come on, we set you a plate."  
Alfred slide into his seat and stared at eggs and beef stew with some wurst and a cup of soda. Though Prussia and Germany took beer, they expected him to prefer soda.  
"So, Alfred."  
America looked up from the food and blinked at Germany who was finally talking. He wasn't much of a talker, more of a grunter like his brother. It was easy to understand, but sometimes he'd have to make Germany talk because he was a lot different from Canada.  
"Why are you here?"  
Prussia spit and America stiffened. Gilbird even peeped angrily at the man's bluntess. America then thought that maybe he got it from Prussia.  
"Burder." Prussia angrily hissed and Germany coughed.  
"I worded that wrong. What brings you here?"  
Okay that was a little nicer.  
"I just wanted to hang out with Gilbert..."  
America whispered as he ate gently.  
"People don't like me anymore, so talking to Prussia makes me forget that."  
Germany felt a piece of food get stuck at his throat and the prussian man coughed into his hand and tried to rub down an ache at his chest.  
"Oh... well, you can stay as long as you want. Though i have to warn you I get very sore if you make me stay up after 11."  
Germany said as he finished his food and slipped it into the plates.  
Prussia stood up and grabbed another beer. Alfred finished his own food and began to wash the dishes.  
Prussia smack his shoulder.  
"You don't have to do that."  
America hit him with a sponge.  
"Yeah i do. It's common courtesy, dick."  
Prussia hissed under his breathe and then rolled his eyes.  
Germany had taken over a small sofa, reading through an old novel. Prussia took out his sketch book and sat on the loveseat, seeing Alfred clear through his spot.  
He stared at him as he washed the dishes, quickly sketching him and the entire kitchen in a quick sweep; he laughed at Gilbird on his hand, pecking at him because he wasn't paying attention to the bird.  
His phone rang the french anthem, bringing him out of his mind and making him open his phone.  
"Hey."  
He sad curtly and there was a snicker on the other side.  
"Bonjour, mon ami. You 'ave seem to forgotten about moi for the last couple of days."  
Prussia made a face at Francis' inability to ask about him, and old talk about himself. It was a narcissitic trait that all three of the friends seemed to have. Yet Prussia had it more hidden now and Spain pushed it away when he started dating Austria.  
Prussia made a face at the idea of Spain fucking his cousin, and pushed it away for some other nightmare.  
"What is it, rosbif."  
"You 'ave been hanging out with either that american or British man too long. You trying to take away my little angry briton?"  
There was a secret venom between his words, as France was the jealous type, especially with his almost lover. Prussia always told himself that the British man was out of his league unless the blonde made advances.  
Sure they had a couple of one night stands, but it really wasn't much of anything past England being piss drunk and Prussia being lonely, but hey.  
"Nah, you know I wouldn't do that without permission."  
"Ah, yes."  
And anyway i have another blonde to go after.  
Prussia smacked himself at that thought as he saw Alfred bend over to grab another bottle of soap. He swallowed a little audibly and France made a snicker.  
"What, your brother?'  
Prussia stiffened as flashes after the war appeared through his head. The only way his brother could have saved him was having to consumate and Prussia suddenly felt a heave at his stomach.  
He remembered that the cuts on his legs were extra deep that year.  
"Fuck you. Are you trying to get me laid or are you asking me something?" Prussia said and Germany flickered his eyes to him.   
Prussia remembered how bad he bruised his brother after he roughly treated him that day, and Germany made a face.  
"What?"  
He didn't know that Prussia was thinking about that. Good.  
"Francis." Germany glared.  
"Frenchie." He hissed under his breathe and rolled to his side and stretched to read his book.  
"I was going to ask if you are still coming to the party in a couple of weeks. I want to double chek everyone."  
Prussia sighed.  
"Sure. I have nothing else to do." He said gently, but Germany and America both made awkward faces. They knew that they had work to do all the time, but Prussia was literally stuck doing nothing at all half of the time.  
The other time was something they didn't know about.  
Germany would see him sneak out and not come back for days on end. America would often see his with red rimmed eyes and whiskey breathe.  
They never said anything.  
America would only see this when he'd leave the meeting and Germany would drag his brother down the street as he swayed and laughed. He'd been in the same dirty clothes for days and Prussia would be whispering about faeries and shit that made Alfred wonder about things.  
Francis chuckled.  
"Oh, come on. You can always find something to do."  
Prussia said nothing and rubbed the inside of the crook of his arm.   
"I guess."  
"So you can bring anyone you want along."  
Prussia looked up to see America rubbed his hands on the small towel and smile at him. Gilbird peeped and floated to Gilbert.  
"Yeah i'll bring America."  
There was a hesitance.  
"Prussia, are you-"  
"No."  
France was very overprotective of the younger nation. Since the revolutionary war, France knew that Prussia had something for the soft eyed blonde. He knew back then that Prussia wouldn't try anything because of his age, but now he could.  
America sat down, sighing gently as Gilbird floated to him. He rubbed his neck and gently laughed at the affection from the bird.  
"You're adorable."  
Prussia snickered.  
"Francis, i promise nothing is happening."  
France scoffed, and then there was a soft laugh.  
"He is old enough. I might be stressing about nothing."  
Prussia then switched to the old french that France knew how to speak and said softly.  
"Don't worry, i won't hurt him. Out of anything, i don't want to hurt him."  
France stayed quiet. There was a soft sigh and then a loving voice that Prussia missed came from France.  
"I know.... I know you'd never hurt him."  
And he laughed.  
"Take care of him, he's a cute little thing."  
Prussia grinned as Alfred yawned.  
"I know."  
They spoke again, but then France heard England angrily chanting as the alcohol got fully into his system.  
"Goodbye, mon petite."  
"yeah yeah, frenchie."  
America looked up at Prussia who was smiling. He and France were finally stitching their relationship, as they had had a falling out years before.  
And even before that, their relationship was a little sour. Spain was really the only thing holding them, and right now he was fucking Austria into the sheets.  
Prussia didn't mind trying if France tried as well.  
"What was it?" America said gently and Prussia smiled.  
"France wasnts us to go to his party in a couple of weeks. Wanna go?"  
America shook his head and bounced.  
"Yay, i haven't talked to France in..."  
America paused and his eyes suddenly got sad.  
"I haven't.... really talked to anyone besides you since the wall came down."  
Germany made a face and Prussia coughed, rubbing at a tattoo on his stomach.  
"Well, we're going. You're my extra."  
America smiled wide at him and turned on the tv, too excited to watch tv.  
Prussia only finished his sketch, and as America fell asleep again he sketched him and his brother asleep on the couches.  
He felt happy for the first time in a while.


	3. Slip into something more comfortable, like drugs or a coma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> America is trying to figure out how he actually feels about Prussia, and Prussia is just confused as to why he's so comfortable around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, this chapter kinda hurt to write, and you'll understand why towards the end  
> I was wanting to add the 4th chapter, but nah.

Alfred woke up to the smell of coffee.  
His eyes opened and he stared at the ceiling, feeling a small chirp of a bird and a bounce on his chest. He smiled and reached down, gently petting the small animal that chirped at the touches and peeped.  
“Guten Morgan”  
Alfred turned to the albino at the door. He leaned there, his eyes silent and his mouth in a small smile. He was wearing an off shoulder shirt and jeans. He looked relaxed and almost carefree.  
Alfred knew that was a lie, but for now he smiled and believed it.  
“Hello.”  
He sat up, running his fingers through his sweaty hair and sighing deeply.  
“What time is it.”  
“Around 10. Gilbird woke you up early because we have to go somewhere.”  
“Where is that?”  
“We gotta go rent some tuxes, Francis' party is a formal one and I don't own anything that isn't a soldiers uniform. And I don't think you packed one...”  
Alfred smiled gently as Gilbert handed him a cup of coffee; no cream, no sugar. He sighed as it smelled a little like vanilla.  
“Mm... no I didn't.”  
“Well, I know a guy.” Gilbert smiled and Gilbird flew over and peeped quietly at him, pecking his fingers for attention. Prussia gave into it, and gently ran his fingers through soft down and sighed happily.  
“So we're just gonna rent some clothes and then party?”  
Gilbert laughed and shook his head. He spoke gently, and out of his mouth.  
“Yeah, that's the idea.”  
It was a weird twitch the man had. Alfred had found this out a little after the wall fell. Before that, he hadn't spoken like this. Out of his mouth and a little shy. It... it was a little weird.   
When he'd talk, if he thought your weren't listening he hurried and spoke lower, as if he was playing a chess game. Pull away the player from their thoughts and make them pay attention.   
Alfred found it funny, and in some sense sad. That he needed to do this so attention would be brought to the man's thoughts.  
“Maybe we could buy one?'  
“Mm. Nah.”  
There he goes again. He lowered his voice and shook his head. Spoke out of the corner of mouth (left side to be more specific) and lowered his voice.  
The american wanted to ask, but it wasn't really anything stupid that bothered him. All he had to do was listen to him and he wouldn't do it.  
“Why not?”  
“It's too expensive. The guy has good suits.”   
Alfred laughed and Gilbert sipped his own coffee cup. His was more sugary and it usually made America gag at how sugary it was; weird thing, the man didn't like sugary things. His cake always came out low on sugar.  
It was funny.  
Gilbert set his coffee cup on his lap and stared outside of the window, seeing snow start to fall. He smiled, as he loved the snow.  
He used to love it more, America remembers when he trained him that he'd appreciate the virgin snow and how cold it was when they stopped training.  
Come to think of it, America has been thinking a lot about Prussia lately. About the past, about who he was, how he's changed, how... well how Prussia was.  
And it mostly came back to the same thought;  
This Prussia was different.  
His eyes were sadder, his words older and his face younger. Whatever he had had during the time he trained America, it was gone. It wasn't there, and it made Alfred ache in a sort of nostalgic way that made his stomach ache and his thoughts blur.  
But it wasn't like this Prussia was bad, no it was just that he was different.  
“I love the snow.”  
“You've told me.”  
It wasn't that America didn't miss the older Prussia. He missed the narcissism that used to smack the American so hard that he'd have to stumble and hold himself.  
No it wasn't that, he did miss him but that was something lost.  
What made America miss Prussia, even though he was right here, was that maybe he didn't know the man as well as he thought he did.  
It was a thought that he didn't precisely enjoy, since he'd known the man well, before the wall fell. And this new person... this... well...  
He didn't know what Prussia was.  
He was just new.  
And he didn't mind learning about someone new.  
His hair dripped onto the car door as he was still wet from his shower. Prussia drove through town, his eyes soft as he stared at the passing lights and he sighed.  
Alfred was quiet, the song on the radio humming in his ears and making him want to sleep some more.  
“You still sleepy?”  
“Mhm.”  
“Stop sleeping so late.”  
“That's like telling you to stop being awesome.”  
Alfred smirked and Gilbert choked. He laughed and then stalled the car as they were at a stop light.  
Some Arctic Monkey song came on and he began to sing under his breathe. It was a soft noise and Gilbert could hear the Sinatra sounding pitch from the young man and Gilbert laughed.  
“A little off on your pitch.”  
“A little off on your judgment, you couldn't carry a note if it was in a bucket.” Alfred glared and Prussia hissed at him, but not maliciously.  
They were quiet again and then Prussia started singing along with America, smiling as they hit every note together.  
Alfred laughed gently as the song ended and Prussia grinned at the road.  
Then there was a really sexual song and America stiffened. He tried not to pay attention to the fact that it was making him uncomfortable and then he growled and changed the song.  
Prussia's red eyes flickered to him and he knitted his brows.  
America stared at the man's sharp profile and glared.  
“What.”  
“You act like such a virgin sometimes...”  
America grew silent. His face turned a little red and his freckles glowed as he began to shade a color of red. His ears turned a little cherry and his neck started to turn red.  
Prussia stiffened.  
“Oh god, you ar-”  
“No! I'm... well... Kind of?”  
Prussia let out a groan and leaned against the wheel. His face also shaded red and he stared at America with a confused gaze mixed with disbelief.  
“Kind of???”  
“I've... only had sex with women and only topped?” Alfred smiled and then felt his smile falter as Gilbert sat up again and stared at the road. His eyes were a little wide and he coughed to the side.  
“jesus, kid. You're way too comfortable with me.”  
America blushed again and he ran his hand through his slightly wet hair.  
“I guess...”  
He laughed and Prussia smiled. It was nice to think about that though. That the younger man was okay with letting him joke about things like that.  
It'd been a while since he could do that with anyone.  
He sighed and parked the car.  
“So...”  
“Gotta go fast.”  
Prussia burst into laughter as America danced a little.  
This was pretty great.  
-  
America felt incredibly uncomfortable.  
He tugged at his sleeves as he got out of the car and took deep breaths. He hadn't been anywhere with other nations for at least 4 years and honestly didn't know how they would react. It was hard to think about; that he didn't have anymore friends and that he was slowly becoming a social parai. It was something stupid and he hated it.  
He stared at the large french manor, his eyes wide behind red glasses. He hadn't been here in such a long time.  
He sighed, staring at the shiny shoes that the man gave him and trying to unwrinkle the front of his pants from his sitting. He stared at the door, seeing people from magazines and things that if he knew his movies a little better he'd be screaming like Poland, who was getting his book signed by a man with thick glasses.  
Gilbert walked beside him, his heels clicking on the cement of the driveway. He slid his hands into the deep black suit he wore and pulled at a deep red tie. He smiled at Alfred, slicking his hair back and grinning.  
Alfred felt his face turn a slight shade of red, as Gilbert looked incredibly good in that suit. His red eyes were glowing from the difference in color and his pale, almost translucent skin was glowing underneath the lamp lights.  
“Ready?”  
“Why do I feel like I might regret this.” America said, pulling at his black dress tie and shifting in the white button up. The suit was a shade of light blue and Gilbert had almost pleaded to put it on.  
Alfred wanted a nice black one, but hey.  
“You won't.”  
God, he was so wrong.  
Alfred went inside and immediately was separated from the man. Hungary bounced over to America and talked to him briefly, her hair tied up perfectly and her breasts looking amazing in a tight red cocktail dress with a plunging line.  
America couldn't even make coherent sentences in front of her, he was blushing so hard. She smirked and twisted her locks and he just smiled and scooted away.  
Belarus walked to her and gently kissed her girlfriend's mouth, making Alfred feel a little light headed. She was also wearing a cocktail dress, but it was a deep shade of black and sunk at her back, showing America a peak of her lingerie.  
Oh god, girls were beautiful.  
He smiled at Ukraine, who waved at him. She was wearing a nice dress, covering herself decently. But still, her wonderful curves were pressed against Turkey, who wore a nice green tux. Beautiful couple those two were.  
Canada swung Netherlands around, laughing maniacally as Netherlands glared, but tried to keep his face unhappy. The canadian was wearing a grey tux with a blue tulip and the dutch man was wearing a white tux with the same colored tulip.  
America thought they were cute.  
He was grabbed a man's drink, fighting him off, and then swallowing it. The man was about to say something when Alfred turned around and left the man to shout at him in french.   
Pulling another waiter, he grabbed a couple more flutes and began to drink.  
Wasn't he still illegal?  
He's not sure.  
But he had downed his tenth glass and he stared dancing with someone. Not sure who...  
He was dipped and he saw glowing green eyes and he smiled.  
“Hello Spain!”  
“Hello America.”  
He was twirled and he twisted away and bumped into someone. That person held him and whispered gently-  
“Are you drunk?”  
He opened his eyes and no matter the women that affected Alfred, red eyes made him feel better. With his stomach flipping and his head dizzy he smiled.  
“Yeah...”  
He pressed the flute to his lips and swung his head back, gulping it. He switched it for another one that some man held and Prussia rolled his eyes.  
“You look good like this....” Alfred whispered, running his fingers up his chest and making Prussia growl under his breathe. It echoed in Alfred's head and he saw Prussia as a dizzy figure in the flashin lights.  
“Don't, Alfred...”  
“You look good in everything, really...” Alfred whispered, his eyes lidded and his face blushing. He smiled and then leaned forward and pressed his head against Prussia's hard chest. He sighed and smiled gently.  
“Hey, Gilbert...”  
“Hm?”  
“Promise me you'll always be with me...” there was a pause and Gilbert stared at him with empty eyes.  
Alfred found himself confused by the emptiness in them sometimes.  
“Alfred, be careful what you're saying.”  
“Why?”  
He smiled at him and America knitted his eyebrows. He didn't understand why he smiled.  
“Because... it might changed what we are to each other.”  
America raised an eyebrow and was about to open his mouth when-  
“Hey, where is Prussia?”   
The albino stiffened. Alfred raised his head and saw France and England with Spain and Austria speaking. They were chattering and then grew silent.  
“Did you see him?”  
Prussia's eyes grew wide and he looked like he was going to vomit. America stared at him with confused eyes and he knitted his eyebrows. Lights flashed around him and he felt like he was floating.  
Oh... this felt... good....  
“But... you're right here...” He whispered and Prussia swallowed. America glared at the people there and he moved.  
“I saw him.. I think?”  
“I did tell him to come..”  
“Hey!” America said, waving his arms and staring at them. He waved them and Prussia gently tugged his blue coat.  
“No, Alfred-”  
They turned to him and America laughed.  
“Dudes, he's right here!” he pointed at Prussia, who stared at them a little hopefully.  
England laughed. France stared with a confused gaze and Austria made a face.  
“America, do not play with us.”  
America froze. His eyes widened and he turned to Prussia who had a look that made America want to puke.   
Colors turned black and Alfred knitted his brows. His stomach ached, and everything became... blurry.. he felt his head pulse and his eyes cross, but he stood straight.  
“There is nothing there!” Spain said and laughed. Prussia swallowed and America had tears in his eyes.  
He turned to Prussia to open his mouth and say something, but he was gone. He was gone and America began to freak out.  
What...  
What.... What is this?  
Is he not there...?  
There was a sound of shattering glass and people around Alfred gasped.  
America began to ventilate. He had been right here, just right here, what happened what....  
“America are you alright?”  
“Ah there you are!”  
America turned and saw Prussia appear from across the room. His eyes widened. He looked down at his flute and noticed that he was bleeding.  
What was this...?  
He looked back up at Prussia who stared and then ran to him.  
“Alfred!”  
America began to cry. Tears rolled down his face and he had no idea what was going on.   
France stared at America with knitted eyebrows and Spain ran to them. Prussia held America as he began to sob so loudly that some nations turned to him.  
“YOU WERE GONE!”  
“What, I was in the bathroom, what, Alfred are you okay!?”  
America screamed and then the music cut.  
“YOU WERE GONE, YOU WHERE GONE AND FRANCE DIDN'T SEE YOU AND YOU PROMISED YOU'D STAY WITH ME.”  
America screamed and squirmed in Prussia's grasp.  
“Are you drunk?”  
“ARE YOU STUPID!?” America shouted and he stared at him with tears streaming down his cheeks and blood covering his hand.  
Prussia knitted his brows and gently touched America. As soon as he did, America froze. His eyes widened and he began to shake.  
“America... Alfred... look at me... Look at me.” He put America's face in his palms and made him look into his eyes. Big blue eyes filled with confusion and fear and trust and he was just so... confused...  
Prussia felt, at that moment, that he wasn't the only one that needed help. That he wasn't the only one dealing with things in his head and that he needed to stay strong for him, for Alfred, who didn't want anyone to leave him.  
France stared as the blond began to shake and everyone was silent.  
“Alfred... Alfred i'm alive... I'm not going anywhere...” Gilbert whispered gently, not only letting those words affect the american, but him.  
America's let out a cracky word.  
“Promise?”  
Prussia shook his head gently and wiped away his tears when America began to wobble. His eyes rolled into his head and he fell forward. He passed out in Prussia's arms and the albino held him as his body grew limp. He stared with wide eyes at the blond when Spain ran to him and helped him pick up the young man.  
Spain stared at him as if he'd just seen something he'd never want to see. As if Prussia had done something to America that made him break.  
Prussia knelt in front of the blond and began to pull away shards of glass from his hands. As he did so, he himself started bleeding and both of their blood mixed on the linoleum floor.  
“What... what in the hell is wrong with the boy?”  
England hissed as America whispered something. Prussia shrugged and tried not to let tears spill down his cheeks.  
“What was in the drinks?”  
He said and looked up at France. They turned to look at the man beside them, who blushed.  
“There... It was laced with something... wasn't it?” Prussia said, glaring at him. The man shook his head.  
He looked down at America.  
“So he was hallucinating?”  
Prussia shook his head as Spain pressed a wet rag to America's hand. Prussia stared.  
Usually, hallucinations are things that you fear the most...  
…  
What did this mean...?  
-  
Prussia shakily lit a cigarette, staring at the sunrise with a blank stare. He pressed the cigarette into his mouth and took a deep drag.  
What was wrong with this kid?  
America slept quietly, his clothing left to hang on the chair, with only his underwear on. He was fighting a fever from the LSD that had been laced into the champagne.  
France actually had to hold back Prussia from punching the man in the face.   
He felt his strength begin to float away with the smoke that he blew out, and he stared at the lightening sky.  
Alfred moaned and moved, getting up and staring at Prussia. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he had been through hell.  
“Good morning Birdy...” He whispered, flicking his cigarette and blowing out smoke. He smiled at him with a soft gaze and Alfred saw a huge tinge of worry.  
“Wh...what...” Alfred looked around, his eyes wide. He clutched the sheets and then looked down at himself.  
Did... they have sex?  
Alfred turned a bright shade of red. How drunk was he last night?  
Well, nothing hurt. Nothing felt relaxed. So no, maybe it wasn't sex.  
He looked up at Gilbert and knitted his brows.  
“I...What happened?” He touched his throat, and he stared at the ground. He was utterly confused and wanted to know why he sounded like he had screamed his lungs out.  
Gilbert was silent. He took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. He stared away from America but with a gentle voice said.  
“You were... getting drunk. You know, the entire bit. Then you grabbed some drink and... you were drugged...”  
Alfred stared at him... He then had memories of a blurry image of Prussia smiling that went from love to utter confusion and horror.  
The american began to hiccup. Gilbert stared at the horizon as the sun came up and America burst into tears. He had no idea what was wrong, what he did, or why exactly he was like this.  
But...  
He was scared.  
He was scared and worried and he held onto his pillow tightly, tears rolling down his face. He was hiccuping and sobbing and Prussia wiped tears from his face.  
“I don't understand, Gilbert!”  
“I don't either...”  
America felt blurry memories come back, but they were awkward and multicolored. It seemed like a terrible nightmare and he was close to hyperventilating at how horrible he felt.  
Prussia turned to him and America stared at him with tear filled blue eyes and he whimpered.  
“Can... can you...”  
Prussia slipped off his shoes and quietly slipped into the bed. America attached himself to the man and sobbed and cried, holding him as tight as he could.  
Prussia only ran his fingers through his hair and gently touched him, kissing his head and rocking him back and forth.  
America was scared because he remembered what he felt when he was on those hallucinogens. He remembered being terrified of losing Gilbert, of being alone again and not having someone to understand him and not having someone who would love him.  
He understood what he felt like to, for a little bit, to loose Gilbert.  
And that was something he didn't like.  
And later, as Gilbert held him as he stopped hiccuping and finally could close his eyes, he understood why he was so confused and hurt and why he... ached when he saw Prussia disappear.  
Because after all these years, the reason that that emotions stayed.  
Was because he was in love with him.  
And as Gilbert smiled at him, and let him see tears of worry drip down his pale face, Alfred felt his chest warm and his eyes fill with love and care.  
“It's okay Alfred... I'm always here for you... Alright?”  
“Promise?”  
“I promise....”  
And he closed his eyes and pressed his head against Prussia's chest, and smiled.


	4. Secrets not worth speaking about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prussia tells America some secrets, and Tony says really rude things about America's private moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not the best, and the next one neither, but i'm getting there, don't worry.

America took some time to recover.  
It took some time, because at night he'd get images of coffins and blood and he'd have nightmares and he'd start screaming and crying.  
Prussia would have to slink into his bed and hold him as he shivered and cried, and Germany brought some tea and Prussia shushed him back into a shaky sleep.  
The nightmares soon stopped, but America would sneak into Prussia's bed and quietly cuddle up to him and wake up nice and warm and right next to Gilbert.  
What he didn't know, was that every time he did this, Prussia kissed his head and told him he was going to protect him. That he was going to protect him from the monsters everyday he could and every time he would.  
England called, almost crying to see what as wrong with America. Francis sobbed into the receiver and cooed over his little american and Canada freaked out while Netherlands tried to calm him down.  
It was a weird experience, as Alfred took it okay, but there was a sudden sadness in his eyes that made Gilbert stare at him as he sat in his chair.  
“Alfred?”  
He whispered gently as he woke up the american in his bed. He turned over and stared at Gilbert, and raised an eyebrow.  
“What?”  
“...” Gilbert stared at him and he sighed. He walked to him and sat in the bed and pulled America into his lap. It wasn't anything sexual, or something romantic, it was somewhat of a sign that he was going to be okay and that Prussia would protect him at any cost.  
America stared at him as he pressed him tight against his chest, and America listened to the dull thump of his heart. And how he was alive and well and he cared for Alfred.  
He dug his fingers into his shirt and nuzzled his face into his chest.  
“What is it?” His muffled voice said from his shirt. He smelled like beer and a sort of cologne.  
Prussia ran his hand up and down his back, kissing his head.  
“If... I know you're packing... And... you're going to leave tomorrow.”  
America didn't want to go. Now that he knew that he was in love with Prussia, not now that Prussia cared for him, not now that everything was getting better.  
“And?” America whispered weakly and Prussia smiled.  
“And, mister impatient, if you ever need me... I'll be a plane ride away... Alright?”  
America smiled gently. He dug his face into his shirt and took a deep breathe.  
“Alright...”  
-  
He arrived at his home feeling like it had been weeks since he'd been there. Tony had kept it almost spotless and he lounged quietly on his seat, staring at the flat screen and seeing a documentary on the second world war.  
“Hey Tony.”  
“Hello, Alfred. I heard that you had a nervous break down and it seems that your stress levels are a little higher than normal. And also that you're hormones are a little higher. Is everything... dandy?”  
He blinked, slurping his soda and cocking his head, sending the message through a thought. Alfred blushed at the hormonal thing and shook his head.  
“I'm fine, Tony. It... I did have a nervous breakdown.”  
“You're toxin level is also at a high. Was it some sort of drug?”  
“Yeah, someone slipped something in the champagne.”  
“That bubbly frenchie drink that I dislike incredibly for it's lack of spice?”  
“Yes, that one.”  
Tony shook his head and blinked again, slurping his soda.  
“Have you been searching for a mate this year, Alfred?”  
America turned bright red and shook his head. Tony blinked at him and slurped his soda. Again.  
“Why is that?”  
“I... Tony why do you always ask these questions?” Alfred said as he put away his things and Tony walked quietly beside him.  
“Well, you are partially, if not fully human, Alfred. You must need some sort of sexual release, since you think you are above masturbation.”  
America paused and closed his eyes.  
“How would you know that?” Alfred said gently staring at Tony, who seemed to twinkle in laughter.  
“I was making a joke. I know that you're moments alone have been increasing in sexual release, I was just worri-”  
America closed the door gently and put his head against the door.  
Tony was quiet.  
“Is it that prussian military man again?”  
America slid down the door and Tony sat down in front of him. He cocked his head and his red eyes twinkled. For some odd reason, the prussian had gotten the attention of the alien since the wall came down. Tony had been hiding with America, and always heard him praise the Prussian with such a tone that it made Tony like him from afar.  
And of course, that meant incredible research on the man and finding out that the prussian had a lot of value as a mate and as a specimen.  
All in all, Tony wanted to pick the man's brain.  
Literally and figuratively.  
“Yes...”  
“Alfred, it is quite alright. He does like you.”  
“I know.”  
“I'm not sure in mating sort of way, but he does seem to talk about you a lot in his journals.”  
America blushed and then opened the door, slipping into the hall with the alien and sitting beside him. Tony pressed a button on a necklace he had an a small car came up to America and handed him a drink.  
“Thanks R2.”  
The robot made a squeak and went off to do his own thing.  
Alfred sipped on the coke and Tony sighed.  
“Alfred, I like him. Please try to get him to be your mate. Everyone else is boring. Either too psychotic like that god awful Russian or too bland like that limey bastard. Prussia seems like he's a good mate and he likes you enough to at least talk to you more than often.”  
The alien opened its small mouth and a soft and slightly childish voice came out. America stared at him and smiled.  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes. Of course. Would I ever mislead you?”  
America smiled gently and sipped on his coke.  
“No... You wouldn't...”  
Tony shook his head and sat down again.  
“Now... Can you tell me what his bird is like?”  
-  
Prussia stared at his canvas, trying to think of something to paint.  
It had been a while since he'd picked up a brush and a while since he'd have any creativity in his head. Sure, he did some sketches and some charcoal lines in his sketch book of Alfred and Gilbird (mostly Alfred) and sure he had small sculpture that he started.  
But he... didn't feel it...  
He didn't feel anything creative, and that was emotionally and a big punch to his ego.  
He sighed.  
Quietly, he put away all of his things and sat in his seat. He opened his laptop, surfed a little and then jumped as his skype popped.  
“Hey, Gil~!”  
He smiled at the icon of America and then opened the message. With skilled fingers he typed.  
“What's up?”  
“I was wondering if you wanted to come over. Tony wants to pick your brain at some things.”  
“Tony? Your imaginary alien friend.”  
“He's not imaginary.”  
“I'll believe that when pigs fly.” Gilbert laughed and then Alfred skype called him.  
“Hey.”  
“Oh, come on really Alfred you're probably gonna put on a puppet-”  
“Sh!” He shushed him and turned the camera to a blob with big red eyes and a scarf.  
“Hey, tony show Gilbert your pet.”  
Gilbert's eyes widened as the grey object pulled out a little baby pig and held it in front of the camera.  
The piglet squealed and flapped it's wings.  
Gilbert gasped loudly and the pig squealed and floated away.  
“His name is Charlotte.”  
Gilbert grinned at the alien, and laughed.  
“Really? Charlotte?”  
Tony made a small squeak sound, that Prussia took as a laugh. The man grinned.  
“I like it. Don't worry, Tony.”  
Tony shook his head and pulled out a coke and drank.  
“So, come on. Tony wants to get to know the awesome you.”  
Prussia blushed and then saw the alien stare into the camera. He spoke with that slightly girlish voice again.  
“Yes, actually. I would love to get to know how your thoughts came through during the Alsasce-Lorraine battle.”  
Gilbert blushed again and smiled.  
“Alright then. I'll pack my bags and I can explain to you my maneuvering. Want me to take a couple of journals from my wars?”  
Tony let out a really high pitched squeak and bounced a little. He then coughed and America laughed.  
“I'll take it as a yes. You'll have all the time in the world to pick at me little guy.”  
Tony clapped.  
“I'll get the scalpel ready.”  
America grabbed his hand and shook his head.  
“No, Tony not that ye-”  
And the connection went out.  
Prussia stared at the black screen that returned to Skype's app and sighed heavily; no use backing out now.  
-  
He got there two days later, his eyes heavy and his steps heavier. He knocked on the door and sighed as Alfred bounced and opened the door.  
“Hey tiger!”  
Gilbert felt a small ache at his chest, as that was the cutest thing he'd heard all day.  
“Can I crash? Right now i'm to tired to even say hello, i'm sorry..” He smiled as Alfred grinned and pulled him into the house. Prussia didn't even care, he let America drag him to a small room at the back and took off his shoes and jacket.  
“I'll go make some beef stew and when you wake up it'll be nice and warm!” Alfred grinned and Prussia fell onto the bed.  
In his haze he didn't remember how much words could actually affect people.  
“Thanks, you're the best. I love you.”  
And he passed out, leaving Alfred to stiffen and his eyes widen. Tony squeaked.  
“I told you.”  
-  
Prussia woke up with a gurgle of his stomach. He smelled food and he sat up, not recognizing the room.  
Then he relaxed into the bed and fell back, rubbing his eye and sighing. He felt an ache at his chest and then his eyes widened as he remembered what he said to Alfred.  
Oh god no.  
He stared a the door, suddenly really scared to go outside.  
But he was the awesome Prussia, and he couldn't... just leave Alfred thinking that he didn't mean it.  
Wait.  
What?  
Prussia knitted his brows. What was that thought?  
That he didn't want Alfred to think that he didn't mean it.  
Yeah that was his thought.  
But did he actually feel that way?  
He stared at the dark of the room and then his face turned red and he swallowed.  
He did feel that way...  
He stood up and quietly walked outside of the room, squinting at the light. Alfred stood above the stove, mixing some beef.  
“Oh, you're awake!” Alfred spoke gently, his voice a little crackly and nervous. Gilbert smiled at him and coughed to the side.  
“What're you making?”  
“Stew. I told you.”  
America smiled and then handed Prussia a bowl. The man took it appreciatively and grabbed a spoon. He sat down and began to eat quietly.  
There was a still silence between them, and Tony sipped his own soup.  
Prussia smiled at Tony, who squeaked at him.  
“So what'dya wanna know little guy?”  
Tony vibrated and then began to bounce.  
“I just want to know everything. How where you conceived? I know that Alfred was born from trees and soil!”  
Prussia bit his lip.  
“I was born of the blood of men.”  
Prussia started and America sat at the table, Tony took down everything the man said as he spoke about his father and his brother.  
As he spoke about everything that he was, that he gained, that he lost that he loved.  
America stared at him with such adoration as he spoke about how Holy Rome defeated so much of Europe and how sadly, he fell so fast.  
Of how Prussia changed religions, about how many wars he fought and won, about so many things that mad America stand on the edge of his seat.  
Things he'd never known about the man, things he'd never expect or hear. Getting to know Prussia better as hours melted away...  
And then he got closer to the wall falling and he was suddenly sadder. He smiled with a painful look in his face and saw that America and Tony weren't in the slightest bit bored.  
“And... The Bering wall went up, and I was sure I was going to die...”  
He saw Prussia pause and then lean back into his chair. His eyes grew stormy and America stared at him.  
“And..?”  
Tony stared at him eagerly and Prussia ran his fingers through his hair. He knew that America was just stalling from what he had said four hours ago, and he knew that Tony was just a huge Earth History buff. He knew that, and he had never told anyone this.  
“I... Have to tell you something... Before I tell you this...”  
they stayed quiet, obviously knowing that he was just giving a disclaimer. He sighed and then spoke.  
“My brother is the representation of Germany. Of New Germany. I am Old Germany. Old Prussia. I am and was and still am part of the Germanics...”  
America shook his head and Tony did as well.  
Prussia stayed silent and then sighed.  
“To... stay part of this, to keep myself... Part of history... I had to... consummate with my brother...”  
America sat up dramatically and Tony froze.  
Alfred turned red and he stared at Gilbert with a confused gaze. Prussia stared and his eyes turned went from excited to frustrated and angry.  
“It... I don't... know what to say...” America said gently and stared at his hands. Prussia sighed out of his nose and shook his head.  
“You don't have to say anything. But just keep yourself together enough so that your brother won't have to fuck you so you survive.”  
America felt his stomach heave a little and he stared at Gilbert with wide eyes. Prussia looked away, knowing that maybe the blond didn't want to see him as a lover anymore, knowing one of his dark secrets.  
Tony shook his head.  
“I'll keep America in tow so he doesn't have to resort to that.”  
Gilbert shook his head with a humph and America sighed.  
“I'm sorry.”  
Prussia glared at the younger man, knowing that even though Prussia had told him countless times that the war was not his fault. America smiled gently and Prussia sighed.  
“What time is it?”  
He looked at his watch and saw that it was almost sunset. America grinned at him and stood up.  
“The back porch has a great view of the sunset. Wanna see?”  
Prussia stood up and both of them walked to the back of the house. He sat on a small sofa and America handed him a cup of coffee with 5 scoops of sugar and 3 of milk. He sat down and they stared at the backdrop of the sunset.  
The backyard had a large pool, a couple of chairs, a sort of bed like thing. He stared at it, wondering why America would need all of this. He was usually online and not at home.  
“You know...” America started to say, his eyes a little dark and his voice a little croaky. He sighed and sipped on his coffee.  
Prussia stared at him, waiting for him to continue. There was some sort of painful silence between them and he felt it. He saw the lights in Alfred's eyes dance from the sunset. He smiled gently and then sighed again.  
“Canada... Canada has everything a lot better... He's great. He has his people who love him, and he is amazing, and god he even has Netherlands to love him...”  
America felt his face tinge a little red at the memory of Prussia saying that to him, but he coughed and kept going.  
“I kinda... want to say that I hate him. I hate my brother.” America had tears in his eyes and Prussia stared at him, not judging him or not taking everything out of account.  
“Stupid question, but how does that make you feel?”  
“It makes me feel like i'm the most horrible being on the planet and that I deserve everything that i've ever been handed to me. I deserve to hate myself and hate everything i've done. I deserve it for feeling this way about my brother.”  
America whispered and Prussia put a hand on his knee. He squeezed and America let a little bit of tears roll down his face.  
“It's alright... I understand how you feel. I had to give everything to my brother, and yet he treats me like i'm just another burden to him half of the time.”  
America turned to him. He leaned and then pressed his head against his shoulder. Both him and Prussia sat together, staring at the sunset and quiet in their own problems.  
But for some reason, as they spoke about them, they felt at peace. At least for now.


	5. A little bit of stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> America sleeping in Prussia's bed and there might be a confession.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, after five chapters they finally make out.  
> and now the sad parts, hella

Prussia spent every single day he could with America. He'd follow him everywhere, get him to talk and they'd spend every breathing second together.  
They wouldn't sleep together, though, so Prussia would lie in the bed that smelled like detergent and stare at the wall, trying to ignore the fact that the blond slept in the room beside him. He sighed and closed his eyes, avoiding the thought that the first day here he confessed to America.  
But then, these moments alone began to stop.  
They stopped the first time America pulled out an old movie and begged Prussia to watch it with him.  
The prussian smiled as he pulled out popcorn and soda and sat down at he end of the sofa. Quietly the america slide beside him and they were too busy with the movie too notice America's hand on Prussia's and his eyes sliding close two hours into the 5 hour movie.  
And soon enough America leaned against Prussia and slept on his arm. And soon enough Prussia tucked him, only to slide over and cuddle up to the blond.  
Tony stared at them, quietly going to the T.V. and turning it off. He quickly pushed a button on the necklace and the machine came over and cleaned the popcorn and food.  
He pulled out a pillow and lifted Gilbert's head so he wouldn't have a kink in his neck and the prussian murmured something, which made the american smile and dig his face into his neck.  
Tony squeaked and then walked away, looking a little proud of himself.  
-  
Prussia woke up to America snoring gently. His eyes widened as he felt the blond pressed against him in an uncomfortable way, and he swallowed as America's mouth was right next to his.  
“Hey... Alfred...”  
The american woke up and stared at him with lidded blue eyes. Prussia stared and then grinned.  
“Morning sunshine.”  
America squeaked and hid his face into Prussia's neck, making the man give a dark chuckle. America turned redder and he smiled.  
“I slept well...”  
America whispered, as he knew that Prussia was worried about how he would react to this.  
Prussia was quiet, not moving his hands from America's waist. He grinned and then sighed a little heavily.  
“I slept well too...”  
And that's how them sleeping together started.  
America would sneak into Prussia's room and quietly slip under the sheets. Pressing himself against his back and curling into a small ball against his back. Prussia would smile and turn over and hold him tight.  
It was anything sexual, it was something that America found a little stress relieving. He'd wake up to Prussia's quiet breaths and his ams around him and holding him tight.  
He had been wanting some sense of security in his life again, and Prussia... Prussia brought it.  
They spoke a lot to each other, Prussia telling America some of his feelings on certain problems and America leaning on Prussia to tell him about his reluctance to accept some things that his people did in states.  
Prussia understood.  
“Hey... America?”  
Prussia whispered as they stared at the stars, seeing them twinkle. They laid on the sheet that America had laid down and both stared at the darkness of the sky.  
It was nice to think that they could have moments like this.  
America hummed and turned to Prussia, staring at bright red eyes that glowed with the moonlight. Prussia smiled.  
“I... think you're pretty cool.”  
America smiled at him and turned to look back at the sky. Both of them thought about what had happened a month ago, about Prussia accidentally confessing to America. It had been an accident and of course he never said anything about it, knowing that it would screw up whatever they had.  
But recently, Prussia's heartbeat drummed a little louder in his ears when America smiled at him. And whenever America spoke to him and woke up beside him.  
“I think you're cool too.”  
America turned to him and Prussia blinked.  
America's breath hitched. The albino's red eyes stared at him behind his white lashes and he smiled gently. It was a nice smile, a smile that America hadn't seen before and suddenly ached to see constantly.  
“Alfred...” Prussia whispered and put his hand on America's. The blond blushed and he felt his face burn. Prussia snickered and leaned forward, pressing his fingers against the freckles dusted on America's cheeks.  
“Yes?”  
“You know i've felt... something for you for a while...” America felt his stomach ache and his chest throb. Prussia stared at him with such an emotion that made his throat close up and his eyes widen.  
“You have?”  
Prussia smiled that smile and America shifted. In a matter of seconds, Prussia's soft lips pressed against America's and the blond felt fireworks burst at the back of his eyes. His toes curled, his eyes rolled into his head and he stiffened.  
“Oh..” America whimpered and then pushed back against the kiss, wrapping his arms around Prussia's neck. He felt the albino gently cup his rear end and squeeze, thrusting against him.  
He pulled back, his breathing heavy and his face a shade of red. Prussia murmured something and kissed his cheek and brushed his lips over his eyes.  
“Alfred..”  
“Yeah?”  
“I... I do love you...”  
America turned red and smiled, pressing his head against Prussia's chest. He took deep breathes and then grinned.  
“I love you too.”  
It might be a little too soon for both of them to say those words. But, as Prussia laced his fingers with America's and kissed his nose and stared at the soft freckles of the young man.  
It wasn't so bad. And maybe it should have been said years before.  
Prussia doesn't know when, maybe it should have been said when the wall fell. Or before when that man got shot.  
Or maybe it should have been said during the Revolution, when America taught the young man to fight for his own and to be his own hero, because then America was just a boy.  
But it felt right. It felt right as Prussia kissed America again, and as America purred and brushed his fingers on the man's chest.  
It felt right.


	6. Oh, God, he fucked up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert has confessed everything but one thing.   
> Alfred can't believe this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yes almost done  
> This is going downhill quickly, and I regret nothing.

No one knew about them but Tony.  
Tony stared at the couple as they cuddled and stared at the t.v., ignoring the fact that there was another person in the room. Uhm... More like presence, since Tony didn't really count as a person. Kind of?  
Never mind that.  
Tony drank from his favorite cup, licking his lips with his green tongue and biting into his honey bun.  
Gilbert and Alfred had been hanging out a lot more lately. They had been kissing and petting each other, and sometimes Tony was shoved outside for a little. Alfred nor Gilbert where limping, so Tony thought that Alfred wasn't ready to mate with the albino.  
Tony found that funny, Alfred had always been a needy human. He expected Alfred to give in to bodily needs quickly, but it didn't seem so. Tony was thankful that Gilbert wasn't as much as a jackass as he thought he was, and that Alfred had enough will power to learn about what was needed with Gilbert.  
He grinned as he saw him start blushing and turning away from the computer, trying to ignore a dull ache that was starting at his groin.  
"Alfred..."  
Tony sent him a message, seeing as Gilbert was asleep on the cough with the book open. He was reading up on something about whales and that surprised the alien as the man seemed a little more lenient on sharks. Weird man.  
"What is it, Tony?" Alfred thought, shifting to the pc again and then putting on kitten videos, making his hormones start to lower again. He grinned at a kitten twitching at someone's petting and Tony slid in the chair beside him.  
"Why are you worrying so much about the mating process between you and your mate?"  
Alfred turned bright red and crossed his arms tightly.  
"I've... never done that with a man."  
"And? In-practice is just that. In-practice. You can just tell the man you don't know how to."  
"I have." Alfred pulled at the string on his hoodie, pulling it and showing Tony that he wasn't wearing an undershirt. Maybe the man on the sofa was rubbing off a lot on Alfred, since he didn't wear any sort of under garments.  
"Well?"  
"He says that he will be as careful as he can."  
Tony knitted his arches where his eyebrows where suppose to be. Putting a thin grey hand on his chin, he cocked his head and blinked his big red eyes.  
"And? I'm not understanding what part of the entire process is making you so uncomfortable, you know besides the fact that there is penetration involved. As far as I've seen, you too are going really fa-"  
Alfred covered the alien's eyes, making Tony to smack at his hands.  
"Do not do that Tony, it's embarrassing."  
"It's kinda hard not to know when you're making all those noise-"  
"TONY!"  
"I will cease my pickings on you, then." Tony let out a high pitched giggled and smiled at Alfred. He then sighed audibly and an effeminate voice started again.  
"What exactly is it that's bothering you...?"  
America bit at his nails, and blinked a little sluggishly. Turning to the alien he was a little red.  
"I... just feel like this is too perfect? Like this is going to end as fast as it happened... Well... It didn't happen fast, but do you understand where i'm going, Ton?"  
The alien shook his head.  
"Alfred, you've been sad for a long time."  
The blond looked down. He didn't like to mention the fact that he was a little depressed, but he shook his head, as if telling him to continue.  
"I know this,... well situation isn't the best, but honestly if he makes you happy, you have to let things just come. Take you're time, enjoy him. You have every minute in the world, neither of you are dying."  
Tony smiled gently and Alfred smiled back.  
"Thank you." He kissed his head and Tony blushed gently.  
"You're welcome, Alfred."  
Gilbert gave a snort and sat up.  
"School!"  
Alfred laughed loudly and the albino was wide eyed and rubbing his eyes.  
"I had the weirdest dream..."  
"I can tell..."  
Tony pulled at his shirt, and smiled at him.  
"Can we go and get that taco store?"  
Gilbert knitted his brows as Alfred shook his head.  
"You mean Taco Bell?"  
"Yes. For want to be ethnic food, it's pretty good."  
Gilbert sat up, popping his back and yawning loudly.  
"I heard Taco Bell. I'm in."  
As all of them piled into the car, Alfred put his seat belt on and looked back at the alien. He quickly put on a wrist watch that as he turned it, made him look like a little girl with dark black hair and tan skin.  
"You're wearing your cloak, Mellie?"  
Tony giggled in the fake high pitched giggled, and as Gilbert was still asleep, freaked him out.  
"Jesus, you scare me when you do that."  
"I know. It's quite hilarious."  
The 'girl' looked up at Alfred, and with those deep ember eyes winked at him.  
Alfred felt a little better.  
-  
A couple of weeks later, after dealing with mushy romance for an entire week and being kicked out of the house for some... mature bonding time,Tony woke up to someone puking.  
He rolled over in his small cot, seeing his calender/alarm shine February 20; 3:20 a.m. He rubbed his eyes, and got off his small bed. Shoving his cool feet into some footies, he shuffled over to the last bathroom.  
Surprisingly, it wasn't Alfred heaving. Usually he ate too many sweets or burgers or things like that, making him get sick for days. Sometimes it was just his country in turmoil. But now that he had Gilbert, those times shortly dwindled to none, as he was kind of a stress reliever and cooked actual food for the man.  
Gilbert put his face on the toilet, his eyes blood shot and his thin fingers going through sweaty, starlight blond hair. He was cursing in German and making soft groans as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.  
"Is everything alright?"  
The man shook his head.  
"My dissolution anniversary is in five days...I start to relapse into pains and bad spells as it gets closer..." he whispered, feeling the alien place his incredibly cold hand on his head.  
"I'll get Alfred."  
The man weakly grabbed his arm. Tony was surprised to feel him so weak and paused his turning.  
"No, please. He'll worry. I hate worrying him."  
Tony stared, and shook his head.  
"Alright. Promise me one thing, though."  
He stared at the alien, making a face of question.  
"Do not die on Alfred."  
The albino was confused at this request, but shook his head.  
"Alright."  
-  
Tony didn't really notice when Gilbert started leaving. He'd be too busy doing more important things, like trying to figure what the hell made the toaster run, or how cats could be so god damn annoying as he poked Americat with a stick.  
The anniversary passed without much of a struggle, as America really didn't notice Prussia acting depressed. Maybe he ignored it or just really was as dense as a jack hammer.  
Tony did notice when he stared leaving a lot more.  
The meetings started to be more active in the April area, for some odd reason. It was a little confusing, since it would be a lot better to make the meetings in the winter, but whatever it wasn't in Tony's division to make any sort of decisions besides where to stick the fork into.  
He'd dissapear, and reappear... Acting kind of odd...?  
He seemed out of it. He seemed skittish, and jumpy and he'd be chewing on gum constantly. A lot different than when he was... well when he was Gilbert.  
It wouldn't happen a lot, mostly when he started to look a little down and a little heavy in his eyes. It wasn't often, but it was often enough.  
Tony was confused.  
He woke up in the middle of the night again, not because of puking, but because of his need to pee. He should really lay off the soda.  
He squirmed his way into the bathroom, needing to relieve himself. Of course that meant tripping on a lot of things. There was pain everywhere, so he couldn't pin point things exactly. Everything was just bumping or tripping.  
That's when he turned on the lights and noticed that there was green liquids dripping down his arms.  
His blood.  
There was a tsk sound as he licked his finger and rubbed it onto the wound. It healed and he finished his task.  
Then there was the question of what the hell had that been.  
He was actually too sleepy to even care, so he turned off the lights again and then went to his bedroom.  
-  
He woke up this time to knocking.  
He turned over and walked to the door, opening it slowly.  
"Tony?"  
Alfred stared at him with a little bit of fear in his eyes. Tony made a noise.  
"Yes?"  
The american wore slacks and a loose fitting T-Shirt and Tony was sure that he was going to go on a date with the albino.  
"...Are... you..." he tried to gather his thoughts. His cherry colored lips puckered in question and Tony blinked. He gave him little bit, as the man was always really bad at putting his thoughts to words when he was worried or stressed.  
"Start from the beginning." Tony crossed his legs and stared up at him. Instead of saying anything, Alfred pulled out a syringe that was dripping a sort of liquid and was coated with green blood.  
He stared at it.  
Going through his memories he tried to remember when he had experimented on himself, since he sometimes did that.  
Alfred bit his lip.  
"Look if you're experimenting with human drugs, i'm not judging you, but please not in my home."  
He whispered gently, and Tony shook his head.  
"No... No i wouldn't do that here, you know that." Tony knitted his brows. His eyes then widened and before he could say anything the front door opened and there was some German words of care to Alfred.  
The blond's blue eyes dilated and Tony was surprised to see tears fill them. His bottom lip quivered and he gave wrapped the syringe in a small towel he held.  
"Tony, can you do me a favor and go into your study, and not come out for a little. I need to talk to Gilbert alone."  
Tony stared at him, Alfred's suddenly serious demeanor making him uncomfortable.  
He shook his head, closing the door.  
-  
He heard quiet angry whispers. He doesn't exactly know when it started to escalate, but soon enough there was shouting from Gilbert.  
Alfred.... Well, Alfred was crying.  
Tony stared at the wall, his eyes wide and his thoughts hazed. He should have seen this. He knew it, he knew that the man's sensors and motor skills had been screwed up every month or so. He had seen it on his glasses, but he never really...  
"FUCK, I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING, ALFRED."  
"But this is important! This is a lot for you to handle by yourself and you couldn't even tell me about it? We've been dating for almost two years!"  
There was some mumbling, a surprised anger and more shouting.  
Tony was angry at himself. It was his fault, he should have-  
"YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU, OKAY? I'M GOING HOME."  
There was a quiet silence and Alfred gave out a soft little sentence.  
"I thought you where already home..."  
Tony didn't hear much of anything, but a harsh bang as Gilbert left. He didn't hear much of anything as he heard the tears screech out the driveway and there was more silence.  
He didn't hear much of anything as he heard Alfred start crying.  
Tony stared at the wall, wondering if in any of this was suppose to happen.


	7. What ever happened to us...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were moments where Alfred was scared.  
> Gilbert never was, and Alfred believes him when he says he never will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It hurts my heart to be so close to the end ahhhh

He was scared.  
He was a scared little boy.  
What was wrong with him?  
Alfred shuddered, snow dripping down his lashes, water dripping down his cheeks. It was cold, so fucking cold...  
England was taking away everything. He had him cornered like a puppy, shaking and shivering and making him feel useless and weak. Alfred was an idiot.  
"Ey, he's only a little boy."  
Alfred looked up and saw two men looking at him. His blue eyes where wide and he stood up and pulled out a gun.  
"Who are you."  
The man smirked at him, saluting the man.  
"I am the nation of Prussia."  
He stared at them, turning to the blond that was in front of him, noticing the soft eyes and hair. He knew that face because he'd seen it before as a small child. He put his gun down and stared at them.  
"What do you want." He said, not one sense of ask, more of a demand. He already ruined it with England, might as well fight all the rest of the fights he needed to.  
The man with bright red eyes smirked at him. He spoke choppy english to him and Alfred was a little ashamed to say that he felt himself get a little turned on.  
Hm.  
He cocked his head at him.  
"I am the nation of.." He paused... He stared blankly and then he looked down. France walked to him and shook his arm gently.  
"You'll get there, child."  
America stared up at the man with bright red eyes. He raised an eyebrow and then smirked.  
"You're strong looking."  
"I am." America ran his finger up and down his musket, his face shading a little red. He never really liked to talk to new people. He'd never seen this man either, so he felt a little anxious and uncomfortable.  
"Why aren't you wearing a jacket."  
America turned redder.  
"I... don't have one." He said gently, running his hand up and down his arm and the man shrugged off his jacket. He threw it at him and showed Alfred another heavy shirt with ruffles at the neck.  
"Borrow mine. You better keep yourself warm and ready, i'm going to beat your ass up."  
The man followed France, and Alfred stared at them.  
He wondered.  
-  
He was dragged out of his bed in the morning, kicking and screaming and making scratches going up his back and front.  
"Alfred!"  
The man stared down at him, and the colonial half country stared up at him with confusion. Prussia smirked at him.  
"Time to train, kid."  
Alfred ended up vomiting an hour in.  
He puked over and over, slowly going from food to blood. Prussia stared at him, about to tell him to start running again when the younger man wiped his mouth and went to jog without much of a fight. Prussia stared at him going around and around, his breathing turning into a normal in and out and the yawning stopping. He noticed the man's unusual amount of strength later on, but right now it was stamina.  
They had started at sunup, and as the sun went down, Prussia stared at him.  
"You can pass out now."  
Alfred stared at him, his knees shaking and his body drenched in sweat. He took one deep breathe and then fell forward, slamming into the snow.  
Prussia walked up to him and France came out of the tent.  
"I like him." Prussia said, picking up the young man like he was a bag of rice. He heaved a little and then turned to France.  
"I knew you would." The man said smiling and Prussia grinned.  
-  
"Sword fighting?"  
He held a sword in front of himself, staring at them in disbelief. After three months of non stop stamina work outs, this was... well this was different.  
Prussia pulled out a long double handed sword and then turned to France, who held a leaner one.  
"I'll show you strength movements." Prussia said, quickly jabbing, cutting the wood of a tree with quick swipes. France smiled at him and then began to move.  
"I'll show you agility." France quickly moved, slashing Prussia's sword and making the man go on defense quickly.  
Alfred's eyes were wide.  
"But... I... We use guns."  
Prussia smirked.  
"We know."  
-  
Alfred had no idea how he got to be such a good shot. He stared at the tree, as the circle there was perfectly shot.  
He grinned, turning to France and Prussia and bouncing up and down.  
"I DID IT! I DID IT!"  
He grinned and bounced. The long coat fluttered as he smiled and looked happy.  
Prussia swallowed.  
France stared at him. He knew what the man felt, as there was a little pause in his breathing when he smiled.  
"Don't."  
"I know..."  
He looked down at the ground and felt his face turn red.  
"I know..."  
-  
They won.  
Alfred sat pressed against the tree, feeling the freedom ringing in his ears and his chest and every part of his body. He felt it, it felt like flying. It felt like everything was okay, it felt like the pain of seeing his Father figure fall before him was worth it.  
But it hurt.  
Tears filled his eyes as he hiccuped. He cuddled up to the deep black coat that had kept him warm this entire time. That kept him safe, that made him feel like a man, like a nation.  
The nation of America.  
There was someone staring at him.  
"Go away..."  
Prussia stared at him as he bent on his knee and touched his cheek. The man that was an asshole, that beat him, that hurt him to make this happen.  
"Hey.... America..."  
He winced at the name. He laid his head against the soft, but freezing wood. He stared and the man pulled him into his lap and gently touched his face. Alfred began to cry loudly, sobbing in his chest.  
The man rocked him back and forth, whispering gently words of encouragement. He rubbed his back as Alfred began to sob so loudly that some birds flew away and soon the sobs turned into cries and then hiccups and ebbed to occasional sniffles.  
Prussia smiled gently.  
"Amerika..." He rubbed his cheek and kissed his head.  
"I'm scared..." He whispered and looked up at the man. He trusted him a lot, he did. He did because he respected him, because he treated him like an adult, because there where a lot of things that he could have done to him to hurt him, to make him stop but he listened and he brought him to this.  
Alfred trusted him.  
Underneath his long coat, Alfred held the man tight, warm and happy that he had someone he could trust.  
\----  
He didn't see much of him. Occasional talks, occasional things that reminded him of the jacket put away in his attic.  
Alfred didn't expect him to turn into this.  
He stared at him as he sat in the bed, weak and broken. His eyes where closed, well what he could see. There was gauze all over him and he was bleeding out of parts of his arms and cheeks.  
He sat in a chair beside him, his head on his lap. He knew that this man was his caretaker, in some sort of way. he treated him like an adult when he needed to be and now... now what...  
He was quiet. France was in the seat next to him and a couple of more nations. All bloody and beat and just so tired.  
Alfred was tired too.  
But he hadn't been in much of this. He had only came in when everyone was kicked and honestly, he wasn't sure what he was doing here, but Gilbert was here.  
Gilbert was here, so he was here.  
He was breathing quietly, slowly and quietly, but breathing. They had stripped him of his nations status as he was seizing up because of the panic attacks.  
America felt very empty.  
Germany visited every once in a while. Every once in a while, Canada would come and soothe Netherlands and talk to America, while hissing at Gilbert. He had hurt his lover, he wasn't very happy about it.  
He didn't blame him.  
America opened his eyes again to see red eyes stare at him.  
"Idiot."  
He smiled and dug his face into the man's thigh.  
"Great way to wake up."  
He took a deep breathe, smelling gunpower and lead and cornflowers. Maybe blood, but that wasn't unexpected.  
He stared at his leg.  
"I'm sorry for smacking you." He said gently at the bruise on the outside of his eye. He forget his strength sometimes. Prussia grinned and touched his face. It was a gentle pet, and if anyone saw this, they'd think they were lovers.  
They weren't.  
Not yet.  
Prussia gently brushed his hair back and stared at him.  
"It's alright. I deserve every punch from you, kid..." He whispered gently, rubbing his eyebrow and seeing the freckles glowing there. He smiled gently and America blushed closing his eyes.  
"I... don't think you deserve anything. You just screwed up..."  
Prussia's eyes filled with tears, and he swallowed.  
"I killed millions of people, Alfred..." he whispered and Alfred closed his eyes harder. Tears dripped down his face faster and he began to shudder and cry. All the things he heard, all of the murder, all of the disgusting horrible things.  
He took deep breaths and he opened his eyes again and saw Prussia stared at him with tears dripping down his face.  
"You must hate me..."  
America laughed an empty laugh, and shook his head.  
"no... i could never hate you..."  
America sobbed and shook, clutching Prussia's legs. Prussia put a hand on his face and smiled.  
"Are you scared?"  
America opened his eyes, his chest heaving and he roughly shook his head.  
"Yes..."  
Prussia only rubbed his soft blond hair and wiped away tears from him.  
"Scared of what?"  
America shook his head.  
"Scared of what's going to happen." He whispered and scooted a little, putting his head on his stomach and wrapping his arms around him. He knew a lot of things that would happen to Gilbert. He knew that that commie bastard was going to take him, and hurt him. He knew.  
He knew and he was so fucking scared.  
Prussia pet him, speaking to him in german like all those years before.  
"I'm never scared Alfred... I'll be okay..."  
America hoped he was right, since he was saying this through tears.  
-  
Sometimes he looked back and wondered how many things he could change. He could of told things to Prussia that didn't fuck him up so bad. He could have stopped a lot of shit from happening, he could have told himself that he wasn't so stupid for wanting nothing.  
He stared at the wall as it began to break apart. People where attacking the wall that symoblized communism for years. That symbolized hurt and anger and so many fucking empty promises.  
Tears rolled down his cheeks. He hated this. This empy feeling that ripped his throat to shreds and made him want to lift a gun mouth to his head, only to wake up in his bed later on.  
He appeared in front of Germany. He cried and sobbed and they held each other. They held each other, even though there was a bond that was broken there. America could tell, since there was a cold feeling from his eyes and Germany wouldn't smile to his pretty baby blue eyes.  
He had been a little boy....  
Red eyes looked at him.  
And America felt scared. He always felt scared, this feeling always had been there. Everytime with Prussia, he just made him scared. There where so many things that made him scared that the man did.  
"Idiot."  
"Why is that your greeting of choise. No "Wassup man" no "How you doing" no, no it's gotta be a derogative te-"  
Prussia wrapped his arms around him. Tight. Warm and tight and shaking. Prussia dug his face into his neck and America felt his heart jump into his throat and make him start to shake.  
"Idiot. Idiot, idiot idiot. You're blaming yourself for all this shit aren't you...?"  
America was shaking. His glasses didn't help the blurry vision that was coming up from his tears. He saw France, he saw England and everyone stare at them with confused gazes.  
"Yes... It's... it's my faul...fault..."  
Prussia dug his fingers into his back.  
"Shut the fuck up."  
America let out a high pitched whine and then began to sob. He fell against the weak nation and was blubbering and screaming.  
"I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!"  
He held him tight, scared of everything, scared of life, scared of his problems, his decisions, his mistakes. He was scared of everything. Everything hurt, everything was hurting and Prussia held him.  
"It's okay... It's okay...."  
He screamed, digging his chubby fingers into his shirt and letting everything out. And as the cries turned into hiccups, Prussia grinned as tears dripped down his own cheeks.  
"I'll never be scared, Alfred..."  
The blond sniffled and whispered gently.  
"Why?"  
"Because you're scared... both of us can't be scared..."  
America closed his eyes, and held him tight.  
"So... if you're scared...?"  
He felt the man swallow.  
...  
..  
..  
"I won't be...I promise..."  
America believed him.


	8. We used to be so close...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prussia needs some time to himself.  
> America needs some time to himself.  
> Everyone just needs time

Ludwig opened his eyes to hear crying.  
He glared at the ceiling.  
"Shit.."  
The woman in his bed let out an angry moan as Germany slid out of the bed, leaving her cold and naked.  
"Gringooooo"  
"I'll be back, Gilbert relapsed."  
The woman opened her chocolate eyes and knitted her brows.  
"Mi amor, you're... your brother is very sick... You need to take him somewhere..." She whispered gently and he kissed her.  
"I know, liebe. I know... But he's an asshole."  
He laughed at her funny face and pulled on underwear. He walked outside and opened the door to his brother's room.  
"Gilbert."  
"Fuck you." He sobbed, clutching his pillow and crying into it. It had been almost a month since he left the blond and almost two years since they started dating. For nations, this was actually a lot. Nations dating was usually a short occurrence. Sex, drugs, maybe some hard tequila and some one night stands and then moving on. The only time he heard that nations could stay in relationships where when they were married.  
Ludwig stared at him.  
"Gilbert, i know you, there's something wrong. And it's not the drugs." He stared at the vile on the drawer and noticed that it wasn't even used.  
The man was quiet. He moved a little and then stopped.  
"Do you want to talk about it...?"  
He sat in his bed, bending it with his large weight. Gilbert rolled over and stared at the man.  
"No."  
There was a silence.  
"...I think i'm checking into rehab." He whispered and stared at him. Germany bit at his nails, spitting them out as he finished.  
"If you want. You know i'm not going to stop you."  
Prussia stared at him with a sad gaze. He curled in his small bed and sniffled.  
"He broke up with me because of it... I really want him back."  
"Then you're thinking about bettering yourself before you can go back to him? You care that much for him?"  
Germany stared at the ground. He knows that the older man could have gone into rehab years ago. He knew that he could have, but he never really had anyone to do it for. He could numb himself down, just do it. Germany let him. Germany always let him.  
Maybe it was because that he felt like he owed this man his life. That he owed every single breath he took to the man, and that yeah he did help him survive after the war, but no. That would never be enough.  
Ever.  
Maybe all this shit was Germany's fault, but it already happened. Too bad.  
He sighed out of his nose.  
"I want to do this for myself. It's been screwing me over for the last couple of years... and it took away the most amazing thing that's happened to me."  
Germany was quiet. The little bird peeped from the corner, shaking out it's feathers as it woke up.  
Germany swallowed as tears filled his eyes and he smiled.  
"I think that's a good idea brother..."  
-  
Tony noticed that the young man was starting to get out of his bed. It had been two months, and sure it had started with crying. Then anger. Then a lot more crying, not getting out of bed.  
He stared at him as he pulled himself out of his room, rubbing his eyes and sighing heavily. He looked a little better, but he still looked angry. He also looked sad.  
"Good morning Alfred."  
"Hello, Tony."  
He sighed and sat down. There was a plate stacked with pancakes and bacon and eggs. Matthew had sent him a message asking if he was alright a couple of hours ago, but he seemed to forget the time difference. Even so, Alfred sent him a message saying that he was ok, but not good. It was getting there.  
"Are you not going to try to talk to him?"  
Tony whispered gently as he noticed Alfred's fingers twitch to the phone. He put his hand down and he swallowed.  
"No... He needs his time..." He whispered gently and stared at his phone. He ached to hear his voice, he ached to talk to the man and he was so scared. He was always scared, and he did need Prussia. He'd always been the stable one, every moment they had had together.  
He took a shaky breathe.  
"He'll tell me when he needs to talk."  
"Are you sure that he'll say it? He's thick headed..." America laughed, eating the pancakes and finding a funny taste in them. He looked up to see there was at least three butter wrappers in the trash can.  
Tony stared at him hopefully, so he swallowed the food and ate.  
He informed him of meetings that he had to go to, extra things that he might have to do over the day, and the fact that he smelled like day old milk and needed to take a shower. This of course got an angry growl and the blond starting to shed his clothes to go to take a shower.  
Tony smiled gently at the table, cleaning the trash and anything left in the man's sleepy wake.  
He rubbed his hands in the water, and then looked at the phone on the table.  
He walked to it, and opened the phone, clicking the messages and starting one.  
"TON! CAN YOU GET ME SOME SOAP?"  
He stopped as he introduced the man's contact into recipients. He stared at the screen, seeing it say  
"Hey, Gil. I miss you… I love you…"  
He bit his lip and saved it as drafts.  
Maybe some other time.  
-  
Germany looked up to see Prussia come into the house, his eyes wide and breathing heavily.  
"How was the first day?" Germany said, patting the seat beside him and seeing his brother go and sit with him. Gilbird tweeted loudly, flying to him and snuggling into his hair. The bird had been very affectionate lately to Gilbert, and Germany thought it was a little funny.  
"I hate everyone. Everyone's life's just suck so bad, and i'm... I'm just..." He took a deep breathe, his eyes red from crying at the meeting, but Germany knew that it was just part of the process.  
"Come on, let me make you some hot chocolate." Germany patted his head, making Prussia turn a little red and smile. He seemed to be a lot softer lately, more caring, less angry. He wasn't so unstable and borderline angry at the German. Maybe it was the meetings, or maybe it was America's influence from him, no matter how short their time together.  
They drank the hot liquid quietly, Gilbird bouncing on the table and pecking at the Prussian's phone. He expected every vibration to make Prussia happy, but it was only alerts on his dragon's or clan. Maybe some im's but that was about it.  
"What is it Gilbird..." The prussian said gently, running his large hand over the soft down of the bird. It pecked at his hand, pulling at his soft white skin and cocking it's little head.  
"Peep."  
Germany knitted his brows.  
"is he wondering why America isn't here?"  
There was a silence and the bird then broke it with an angry peep and a bounce.  
Prussia turned red in the face.  
"I think so. America would always skype call me and talk to Gilbird."  
The bird bounced and let out a short cry in happiness, recognizing the name. It pecked at the phone and then looked at Prussia hopefully.  
Prussia bit his lip as tears filled his eyes. He shook his head and pet the little thing again.  
"Sorry.... He's... I can't... For now, Gilbird, i can't..."  
The bird was confused as to why Germany had to hold Prussia as his shoulders started shaking and why he started crying.  
So he just got on his head and peeped sadly.  
-  
Alfred quickly fed himself as he tied his shirt and fixed his hair.  
Tony handed him his suitcase and the man ran out of the house, putting his keys in the ignition.  
"Bye Alfred!"  
The man grinned at him, waving his hand.  
The younger male was suddenly happy. He was happy, and he wasn't crying. There was no relapsing into tears, there was no pain.  
He looked at his watch and shook his head. Seven months, it wasn't super bad. He went through all of the stages pretty quickly, and honestly he thinks that Gilbert gave him more confidence in himself. He recently lost a couple of pounds and bought himself a nice pair of pants in a size smaller.  
Maybe the Prussian screwed up with his addiction, but he did do good with America.  
Tony smiled, sipping his coffee.  
"Experiment 1776 was a success."  
He sighed heavily as the little robot smacked himself into his leg over and over, wanting to do something with its creator. Tony indulged it by dumping the rest of the coffee on the ground and letting it mop up the mess.  
-  
Prussia rubbed his neck to see his naked neck. He buzzed the last part of his neck, seeing the military cut perfectly edged and spiked up. Germany looked at him from the room, Mexico rubbing her thin, tan fingers up and down his buff arm.  
"Wow... The handsome runs in the familia..." She giggled and went up to Gilbert, kissing him on the cheek and patting his head. He blushed red and looked at her with a soft gaze. The woman reminded him a lot of another one with the same colored hair. Motherly warmth radiated from her, and he seemed attached to her as she held him tight when the drugs where running out of his system.  
"Don't flatter me, Mirasol."  
She giggled and kissed his lips, making Germany let out a small growl.  
"Mirasol."  
Prussia blushed and rolled his eyes. The woman turned to him and pointed.  
"You know he's too stuck on mi primo to ever pay attention to anyone else."  
Prussia sighed heavily and crossed his arms. His eyes were a little sad, as he had picked himself up from everything except the man.  
Germany pet his head and rubbed his finger on his cheek. The affection was a little weird from the usual sarcastic douchebag, but Prussia appreciated it. Gilbird peeped from a top his head and he smiled.  
"I'm going to see him today..." He whispered gently, not really paying attention to him but imagining the blond underneath him again. How many times he made him moan and smile at him. Sure, they never really went far enough to actually call it sex, but far enough to know what Alfred could offer him.  
He missed him. He missed just being there more than anything they did.  
He missed Alfred in general.  
He stared out the window as they parked, not wanting to get out. His head not only felt light physically, but mentally. There where so many things that he cleaned up on, there where chances now, he was happy.  
He felt... Like he could do anything in the world.  
But he wanted that cute little blond that he'd been helping for the last couple hundred years. He wanted him so bad that was all he needed. He had bettered himself, he picked up parts that where broken for so long and now...  
Now he just wanted Alfred.  
But did he want him again?  
He stared at the floor, biting his lip. Germany looked up into the rear view mirror and knitted his brows.  
"Is something wrong?"  
Germany was staring at him, making Prussia nervous. He ran his fingers through his buzz cut and then shook his head.  
"No...No nothing is wrong."  
He got out of the car and stared at the large building. He bit his lip and stared at the ground again. He didn't want to raise his head, because he felt... well nervous.  
Really nervous.  
He walked behind Germany with a little lean, as he didn't sleep much the night before. He was running on fumes, and he wanted to go home and sleep for hours on end.  
Germany and Mexico where holding hands, chattering in spanish like hens about something Spain had told them.  
Prussia was thankful that Spain was starting to try and mend their friendship. While he was relapsing, he'd bring candies and coffee so he wouldn't feel the pains so much. They'd talk about his old pirate days and he'd every once in a while talk about Austria, though Prussia made faces and gagging motions, making Spain glare and smile.  
But it was there.  
France, of course, coddled him and freaked out, and smacked at him for not telling him.  
He looked up and saw Francis wave at him.  
He loved the man.  
He waved back and walked into the large room, seeing faces turn to them. There was a mixture of surprised gasps and widened eyes at the haircut. You could see the scar running across his cheek better.  
He smirked at some of them and as he turned to show how sexy he looked with this haircut, he paused and swallowed.  
America was quickly signing papers and handing them to their respectably persons, when he paused at the feeling of someone looking at him. He raised his head gently and Prussia found it hard to swallow the lump at his throat.  
The man's face immediately glowed red and he blinked. He saw navy blue eyes dart to his hair, then his cheek, then his rolled up sleeves to see closed pin prick scars. Then they darted back to Prussia's eyes and he opened his mouth to ask another question.  
Prussia rubbed his arm and then shook his head gently. America seemed to understand and he smiled wide at him.  
There wasn't much talking between them. At all.  
There wasn't even another glance.  
But Prussia was okay.  
And America was okay.  
And maybe all of this was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //HEAVY BREATHING  
> i am not okay


	9. I am, and always will be, in love with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prussia loves America.  
> And that all there really is, and all there really was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter ahhhhh  
> 

Prussia was startled awake a couple of days later as his phone vibrated like a coked up mule.  
He flipped over, making Gilbird angrily peck at his cheek and fly to his cage. The teuton grabbed his phone and opened the screen, glaring at the person that sent him the message to make him come out of his delicious and hard to get sleep.  
"Hey, Gil, are you awake?"  
He stared at the message, trying to remember who's number this was. And who was "Cute ass" in his contacts.  
"...Alfred?"  
"Oh... you... probably erased my number..."  
"No... No it says cute ass so i'm confused,"  
"Gilbert i do not have a cu... wait nevermind i do,"  
Prussia smirked. He rolled to look at the clock, and glared at it. It was too early for this shit, and it was too early over there for this shit. Had the boy not slept?  
"Why are you awake?"  
"I got up to pee, and while i'm still hazy and half asleep i wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date?"  
Prussia felt his chest hurt. His mind turned hazy and he stared at the phone and then stared at the ceiling. His eyes were wide and he swallowed thickly.  
All of the pain that he had felt turned into an awkward jumble of confusion and giddiness. He wanted this so bad, but was he ready to give into something that he destroyed again?  
He quickly texted back.  
On the other side of the world, America waited patiently in his underwear. His phone on his pillow and his eyes wide. He took shallow breaths, when the phone vibrated and he scrambled to get it.  
Okay... Okay what... what would it say?  
America couldn't even think of what the responses would be, so he brought his courage up and opened his screen.  
"I would love that."  
He let out a scream, making the little robot beep angrily at him from the bottom of his bed and Tony's soft footsteps run to his room and throw open the door with a toaster.  
"What is wrong?"  
He saw Alfred's hand over his mouth and he threw the phone at Tony, who caught it and read it.  
He smiled and shook his head.  
"Good."  
"Why a toaster...."  
-  
Prussia was about to ditch the restaurant. He was breathing heavily and trying to smile at the waiter who smiled back at him.  
Thirty minutes late.  
Okay, what was wrong...?  
There could be so many reason that he ditched, there could be a lot. He could have changed him mind, he could of realized that Prussia was a complete asshole and not wanted to deal with that all over again, there was a lot of things...  
Maybe he just... decided not to come.  
His phone was in the middle of the table, glaring notifications from his blog, from twitter and everything but the blonde's number. He bit his lip, running his finger over his 10th beer and feeling his eyes cross a little.  
America did deserve a lot better than him. Maybe he had realized that.  
There was crashing suddenly and Prussia jumped as a body let out a scream and fell face first beside him. He scooted back and saw America scrambled to get up and nervously tug at his jacket.  
"Shit, shit, I'm so sorry. I... Uhm... read the message wrong and I thought it said 416 not 216... I'm sorry,"  
He blushed red and flopped onto the seat. His eyes were wide and he looked like he ran a marathon. Gilbert stared at him, knitting his brows and smiling.  
"Did... you run all the way here?"  
He shook his head and rubbed his neck.  
"I really hope i didn't worry you,"  
"You didn't,"  
"Are you sure... You're kinda... swaying...," He said gently and Prussia stiffened. He looked down at his beer and coughed into his hand.  
"I'm on my tenth, it's nothing,"  
Alfred stared into red eyes and smiled gently.  
"Then i should catch up, huh?"  
He grabbed the pitcher and the glass, filling it to the brim and then slurping up the alcohol like it was water. Prussia smirked and grabbed the waiter, asking for food and another two pitchers.  
After that.  
Everything got kinda hazy.  
Alfred laughed loudly, drinking a little awkwardly, beer on his shirt and wobbling in his seat. Gilbert was eating a large burger, trying to not choke as Alfred stuck two straws in his mouth and began to imitate a walrus. For some reason he thought that was funny.  
The people at the restaurant smiled at the couple as Gilbert stood up and took Alfred, both of them swaying and singing a really crappy song. Gilbert was kissing on Alfred's neck and the blond was giggling and saying something to him in Navajo.  
They flagged a taxi after Gilbert fought with his wallet to pay the laughing waiter, and both of them where in the back seat making animal noises and making the Taxi driver uncomfortable with their kisses.  
Alfred paid this time, thanking the man by touching his face and making him turn red and swat at him. He said something to them in German, and Alfred giggled and wobbled to the door of Gilbert's house.  
"You... You moved... Out?" He tried to stare at the house, his eyes crossing and he touched his head.  
"Yeah, i did. It's a rent, but better than nothing..," Gilbert snickered at something and opened the door. Alfred went in and smiled. It was a small house, but it was comfortable. A fire place was across the kitchen and it was cold, but it seemed like it had been recently used.  
"Can i turn it on?"  
"If you don't fall in," He laughed at Alfred as he wobbled to the hearth and began to put in the wood and then lit it without much of a problem. Gilbert grabbed some sodas from the fridge and grabbed the blanket and pillows from the sofa. He quickly fixed them so they could sit together and turned on the T.V. above the fire, putting on a movie that he didn't even see the name of.  
Alfred leaned on his shoulder and sipped on his soda, sighing deeply and staring at the fire. He didn't want to watch the movie, he wanted to watch Gilbert and kiss him. It was nice and warm and the movie ended, and he was dozing off, when suddenly Gilbert spoke.  
"Alfred...?"  
"Hm?"  
Gilbert put down his soda and wiped his mouth. He turned off the T.V. and then turned to Alfred.  
"I... I'm sorry..." He whispered and stared at him. There was still a little bit of alcohol in his system and it was enough to get him to start talking about their break up. Alfred glared at him for a minute, trying to get the thoughts into his head, as he was still pretty drunk.  
"... oh... You don't have to, babe. You where and still are going through some shit. You had to let it out, and needed your space. I understand," Alfred dug his face into his chest and held him tight.  
Gilbert swallowed as Alfred let out a small sniffle. He smiled gently and then laughed, making Gilbert suddenly uncomfortable in between his legs.  
"I'm happy that you feel better, though. I can finally spend time with you again," Alfred sniffed and Gilbert pulled him back. He wiped his tears and pressed kisses on his face and cheeks. Running his hand up his shirt, he touched the man's back and began to rub circles there. Alfred let out a soft whine and kissed his cheek.  
"I never wanted to hurt you..,"  
Gilbert whispered and pressed his forehead to Alfred's, taking a deep breath and biting his lip.  
Alfred said nothing and wrapped his arms around him. He pulled the sheets over them and took off his glasses.  
"Come on. It's almost three a.m., let's sleep," Alfred whispered, rubbing his nose again Gilbert's and curling up beside him. The albino sighed.  
"Really? Not any sex or some foreplay at le- OW!!" He shouted as Alfred punched him in the stomach and made him fall forward and dig his face into his shoulder and let out high pitched wheezes as he breathed.  
"Go to sleep,"  
-  
Gilbert had something pressed into neck. It hurt a little, but as he moved, it snorted and then something cold dug into his side.  
He let out a gasp, and pulled away from it, making someone angrily whimper a "No, Tony don't use the scalpel, i said epideral, not subderal," and then turn around and take the rest of the warmth.  
Gilbert sat up to see Alfred curled into a ball with all of the throw and whispering something about Tony and a-  
Woah, too much info.  
Gilbert sighed and went to start the heater, shivering as it was starting to snow again. He sighed out of his nose, feeling a small pain in his stomach.  
Hm.  
Maybe he was hungry.  
He turned on the stove, quickly making eggs and food and a whole bunch of other things, knowing that his younger boyfriend (oh god, he hoped he could call him that now) would probably eat a lot of food.  
There was an angry moan and Alfred's face appeared, saliva dried on his cheek and his hair sticking different directions. He glared at Gilbert and then dissapeared into the bathroom.  
Gilbert snickered, as he probably looked fine. For years he had slept on stone and cold floors, so a warm rug didn't bother him.  
The shower started and there was a small shout as the water didn't warm.  
"You okay?!"  
"FUCK YOU!"  
He laughed again, as he heard a little bit of chattering and then a small moan. Oh yeah, then there's the-  
"FUCKING SHIT!"  
He laughed harder, as he walked out to the kitchen in a small towel, glaring at him. His entire face and shoulders where bright red and his freckles glowed.  
"Help,"  
Gilbert smirked and walked to the restroom, pulling up his sleeve and fixing the water. He was about to turn around when Alfred pressed against his back and wrapped his arms around his neck.  
"Can... can we do a little something later?"  
Gilbert turned bright red, knowing what the young man meant. They hadn't ever gone farther than occasional touching, and sometimes Alfred got on his knees. But this was different.  
He felt the blond kiss his neck and rub his fingers over the small little pleasure spot underneath Gilbert's left pec, making him shudder.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes...,"  
Gilbert turned, and pressed a kiss on Alfred's lips. The blond smiled and kissed his cheek and eyelids, dragging his hand up his back. The kisses where a lot more delicate and slow and careful. Gilbert moaned as he finally kissed him and he shuddered at the touch on the back of his head.  
"I love you..," Alfred whispered, looking deep into red eyes and his lower lip trembling a bit. The prussian man took his hand and kissed his palm gently, not breaking their eye contact.  
"I love you too..," He smiled gently and Alfred grinned. Prussia stood up, leaving the blond to shower by himself, knowing that later on the man would enjoy America as much as he wanted.  
Going to the kitchen, a sudden pain went through his stomach. He let out a groan at it, seeing as it spread to his back and then head, making his vision turn into red and blue's and he gasped.  
His fingers dug into the sink and he put his face against the cool metal, closing his eyes and waiting for the searing pain to stop. It was potent for a couple of seconds and then started to ebb away into a dull ache, then nothing.  
He opened his eyes and saw that blood was trickling down his nose and he knitted his brows.  
Weird.  
He shrugged, cleaning up and relaxing in his seat as he drank his sweet coffee and closed his eyes.  
Everything was great.  
-  
Alfred came out about thirty minutes later, his face still red and glowing like a cooked lobster. He loved hot water and Gilbert shared this with him, as the time he spent with Russia made him unable to stand the cold weather.  
Even if Germany was really cold, there was a difference between three jackets and borderline frostbite.  
"Did you make me a cup?"  
"I put a spoonful of sugar,"  
"Good." He grabbed his cup and drank quietly, going to him and sitting in his lap. Alfred laid his head on his shoulder and took a deep, satisfied breath. His fingers danced across his collar bone, grinning as Gilbert let out a growl and tightened his grip on the blond's thighs.  
"Alfred," He said in his ear, making the younger man shudder and put his cup down. He pulled him into a kiss, tasting the incredibly sweet coffee Prussia liked and feeling his lips move against his gently.  
Softly and delicately. Prussia's fingers running up his shirt (Prussia's shirt. And where did he find that?), feeling the soft shoulder blades and knowing that there where freckles all over his back.  
He grinned, making Alfred laugh at the movement on his mouth.  
"Why you smiling, tiger?"  
"I can't wait to see if you have more freckles...," Gilbert pressed against him, making Alfred let out a quiet gasp as he felt the bulge against his backside.  
"Really, Gil? That bad?" Alfred turned to sit directly on his lap and the albino lifted him up, making a soft squeak come out of his mouth. Gilbert peppered kisses on his cheeks and then his jaw.  
"Yes, really. We've been dating for about three years, and i only got to third base," He kissed his neck and sucked the soft spot that made Alfred whimper. The blond sucked in a breath and dug his fingers into Gilbert's hair and tugged angrily.  
"Sorry bout that, tiger," He kissed his lips, and then his nose and forehead. Gilbert smirked, pushing the door to his bed open and closing it behind them.  
"I liked it though. It made me find out your weak spots," He put him on the soft bed, Alfred sinking into the soft cushion and making him grin at the smell of Gilbert's cologne on the sheets.  
"Weak spots? I am not weak...," He laughed and then Gilbert gently ran a finger up the inside of his thigh, making Alfred pause, his eyes roll into his head, and then let out a soft whimper.  
"Oh, really? Then what's that?"  
Alfred's eyes came back and he glared at the man. The albino snickered and pulled out some things from his drawer. Alfred shed his boyfriend's shirt and then shimmied out of his boxers, letting out a squeak as he fell over and rolled onto his back.  
Gilbert looked up at him. His eyes widened as he saw Alfred staring at the ceiling with his face bright red and looking away. The man snorted and then began to laugh at his boyfriend.  
"Really, Al?"  
"I'm nervous, okay..,"  
Gilbert took off his shirt, unbuttoning his pants and going over to Alfred. America noticed that he still didn't like the entire underwear thing and the tattoos just glowed against his pale skin. He sat up and Gilbert pulled him to his feet.  
"Are you going to fall again?"  
"I hope not...," Alfred giggled, and put his head to Gilbert's chest, taking a deep breath and stilling his shaking hands. Gilbert kissed his head, and then pulled Alfred's face back.  
"Alfred... Look at me..," Gilbert whispered and Alfred smiled at him. His face was a little red and he felt uncomfortable being so bare to Prussia, but he held his head.  
"I am looking at you, idiot." He murmured, pressed his cheek against his. He kissed his nose and stared into blood red eyes and he wrapped his arms around the man's neck.  
Prussia stared at the man, smiling gently and then putting him on the soft bed. He kissed his lips, sliding finger down Alfred's soft chest. America purred at the touches, arching slightly as he made circles at his hips and moving his kisses lower.  
Alfred shuddered, realizing how much he missed the other male. The soft touches made his face and body start to turn redder at the affection, his lips quivering as he held himself from moaning.  
"G..Gil..,"  
The man looked up from his touches and smiled gently. He began to leave little bite marks on his chest and stomach; he second thought the marking, but then again, who would see this?  
Prussia was the only one that needed to see this.  
"Do you want me to do anything, or just... You know..," His fingers where moving gently, but America was too dizzy from the kissing and touches to really say anything but a quiet moan and a shake of his head.  
That made a laugh bubble from Gilbert's chest and the blond smiled at that sound. He hadn't heard it that well or that happy in a while.  
Honestly, he hadn't heard Gilbert happy at all for a really long while.  
But this... He was happy.  
Prussia was happy. He found out in his own way to make himself happy, and that made America happy. He just needed some time on his own to rethink what he'd done or anything that had happened in his life. Thinking too much about their relationship probably made him relapse so fast.  
America was happy that Prussia was happy.  
"Hey... Hey, pretty boy, did you fall asleep on me?" Prussia growled in America's ear, making him come back from his thoughts. America wrapped his arms around Prussia's neck and brought him close.'  
"No, just thinking,"  
"About?"  
"Nothing, tiger. It's not important at the moment," He kissed his lips and then stiffened as something prodded at him. His eyes closed and he shivered. Prussia ran his hand up and down his back and then pushed into him.  
America gasped, spreading his legs and digging his face into his neck. Prussia said something, but America was too distracted with the moment to hear him.  
Closing his eyes, he took in what Prussia had to offer him. His warm skin pressed against him, smelling like cologne and soap. His fingers pressed against his hair, feeling the stubble of his hair growing back from his buzz cut.  
"Gilbert..? America said under his breath, making his boyfriend pause at his movements. He hmmed, as if asserting that he was listening. The shaking from his hands and the heavy breathing told Alfred that he was holding back from literally fucking Alfred numb.  
"I missed you...," He murmured, opening his eyes and feeling Gilbert take in a sharp breath. He tightened his grip on the man's hips and then thrusted hard into him. America's eyes widened and he let out a startled cry.  
Prussia held him as he dug his nails into his back and scratched down the ink and scars. Moaning, he pushed harder into him, holding him tight and making Alfred tighten his legs around Prussia hips.  
"H..harder..." America growled, digging his fingernails deep into his back. Prussia was surprised at the man's sudden roughness, but obliged.  
America was whimpering and moving his waist against the thrusts from his partner. Prussia was growling in German, telling him something about how good he was.  
Prussia lifted his waist and then pushed him onto his back. America stared at him with a smile on his face.  
The albino kissed him and then spread his legs more. America cried out at that and bit his lip. He closed his eyes and groaned at Prussia's movements.  
"Touch me,"  
The albino touched him, grinning at the man's sudden aggressiveness. He liked it, as he expected the young man to lay down and take it. It was good that he loved this though.  
His fingers ran up and down Alfred's cock, making him buck against the touches and make Gilbert, in turn, moan at the movement. America whimpered something, his fingers digging into Prussia's arm and drawing blood. Prussia bit his lip and leaned forward.  
"Almost?"  
"Mhm...," Alfred whimpered, and with a movement from Gilbert, felt him brush his prostate; his back arched and his eyes squeezed closed and he let out a shout. Prussia felt him squeeze him tight, making him finish deep inside him.'  
America made a noise, shuddering and pulling his fingers out of the scratches on Gilbert's arms. Prussia snorted as he saw America's worried face at the blood on his nails.  
"It's alright..,"  
He touched America's cheek, sighing happily and kissing his face. The blond sighed and held him tight, pressing kisses on his cheek and nose.  
"I love you...,"  
Prussia laid beside him and held him tight, letting America run his hand up and down his buzz cut, humming quietly and kissing his forehead.  
"I love you too, Alfred," Prussia whispered and held his boyfriend tight.  
"I'm sorry...,"  
"For what?" The albino looked into the blue eyes, seeing them water and his face turn a little sad.  
"Not being there for you...,"  
"Alfred... you have to understand that...I have some problems that I have to deal with by myself," Prussia held his hand, kissing his palm and running his lips over the tips of his fingers. America shuddered, and wiped his eyes.  
"I know... but..i should've...,"  
Prussia kissed him gently, and laughed.  
"You can't do everything for me... I'm not scared, you know that, right? I can hold my own,"  
America stared into blood red eyes, and shook his head.  
"As long as you're never scared,"  
"I promise, i'll never be..."  
-  
America shifted uncomfortably in his seat; Seeing as England talk and talk and talk and not let them leave. His backside ached from Prussia's smacking and... well sex, and he needed to la down for a bit. It was thirty minutes after the meeting was suppose to end, and America was starting to feel the pressure on his backside.  
Or in Prussia's words, that incredibly well developed ass.  
He smiled at the thought, running his finger around the circle his drink left. His face turned a shade of red as he remembered the last couple of nights, and how exciting it was to have his boyfriend with him and-  
"AMERICA!"  
He jumped, slamming his hurting backside into the chair and making more pain. Tears filled his eyes and he bit his lip.  
"Y..Yes, England?"  
He whimpered a little and England knitted his brows at him. France looked up, flicking his pretty hair out of his eyes and stared at him with a confused look. More nations where confused at the younger nation's pain, when the door flew open and Prussia stood there with a paintball gun and full armor.  
"Babe you said two hours, it's almost been three!" Prussia ran to America and forced the paintball gun into his hands.  
"Come on!" He grabbed America's hand, not noticing the stares.  
"Gil, tiger i'm in the meeting,"  
Prussia pouted and crossed his arms. He looked angry and ready to go but America was still needing to stay at the meeting.  
England stared at them with wide eyes. France gasped and Spain looked up from his phone to raise an eyebrow. There was an eruption of confusion and Germany shouted at them to shut up.  
"Bruder,"  
"Yes?" Gilbert turned to him, pulling off his helmet and showing some camo make up. He eyes glowed behind the black and green paint and Germany glared at him and crossed his arms.  
"Everyone is staying late,"  
Prussia pouted harder and stomped his foot.  
"But me and Alfred made plans and he's already late."  
Germany walked to Prussia, pulling at his ear and making him shout.  
"LUD!"  
"You're pretty boy boyfriend here did some math wrong and needs to stay!"  
America turned bright red. He pulled Prussia away from Germany and glared at him.  
"Hey! I tried my best!"  
Germany rolled his eyes, shooing Prussia. He fought with him and then turned to the white board, seeing the math written down. He grabbed the pen from Russia, hissing at him and then quickly erasing, writing and rearranging.  
"Bruder i thought you knew better than to rest the 6 with the sevens and move your tens," he tsked and then wrote down the numbers in his perfect calligraphy like writing. He then turned to Germany hissed.  
"Now, Alfred grab the gun, and let's go."  
Prussia put down his helmet and America grinned wide. He set his gun and jogged to him. Germany was about to say something when Prussia shot him in his chest. He fell back and gasped at the bright blue paint across his white suit.  
"If you wanna fight, grab a gun from your car."  
Prussia smirked and grabbed America's hand, running down the hall and shooting France and Spain. The Spanish man gasped and stood up, taking off after them.  
"BASTARDO!"  
Prussia was laughing loudly and America stopped and with a quick movement shot England square in the chest.  
"AMERICA!"  
"Fight me, Pops." America winked, and Prussia pressed a kiss on his lips. A small group of people began to run after them and Prussia was smiling and laughing loudly as he held his boyfriend's hand, his heart pounding and finally happy.  
America smiled at him, his eyes twinkling and Prussia felt a soft warmth spread through his fingers wrapped around America's fingers and to his chest and entire body.  
"I love you, Gil..." America whispered quietly as they hid in the bushes a couple of minutes later, hiding from an angry German man and a pissed off Englishman.  
"I love you too Alfred."  
Prussia smiled wide, not feeling the itch at the inside of his arm, not feeling the pain in his chest, not feeling any need to get high or cut or do anything to himself.  
He grinned as he felt America's hand brush at his crotch, and red eyes turned to blue.  
"Really, pretty boy?"  
"Oh come on. Seeing you all into shit like this reminds me of the revolution and wanting you to fuck me numb," America licked his lips and Prussia's eyes grew wide and he smirked.  
"Mm... didn't i do that last night?"  
America grinned wide when there was a crack of a branch and Prussia cocked his paintball gun.  
"On three...,"  
America's eyes grew dark and he smiled.  
"One..."  
"Two..." America licked his lips as he saw Germany come out behind a tree and point the gun away from them.  
"Three!"  
And Prussia was happy.  
For now.


End file.
